Perfect Appearance First
Spotless. Polished. Organized. Our lives revolve around these styles. If you’re like me that is. This blog page is a perfect example of such. I wanted to have it decorated in a beautiful and calming background. Have the appearance draw viewers in. It is not that it is wrong to try to catch the eye of others. But it does become a problem when the main attraction is mainly set on appearance.
More than a few months ago, I set up with the decision to make a WordPress blog. Two years ago, I started a blog on a site that crashed repeatedly. So last year, I found a new site and proceeded to add my past writings. New blogs were written. But as a writer, I wanted to try to reach a podium that more may be drawn to.
“It’s so simple. You have writer friends,” I told myself. “Follow their footsteps. Why don’t you make a WordPress?”
Yeah. Why don’t I make a WordPress?
For the past several months leading up to the decision to create a new platform, I had highs and lows of inspiration for writing. A high was working on a devotional, to prepare me for publishing when the time came to learn of its fascinating process. A low was self-doubt. Fearing the very gift God gave me.
Which led me to seeking out ways I could possibly make money. I was so desperate just to hear the words, “This is the way to go.” So I did what other people in my situation may do…I jumped too fast.
Look before you leap, they say.
Believing Too Soon
It’s too good to be true.
Have you ever stumbled across one of those sites that have an inspiring video? You probably have heard the story.
*From the video, “So and so’s situation is just like yours!”
Gasp! “It’s like they know me!” *Continues watching.
As I got more drawn into *insert random person’s name story*, something grew inside of me, a small seed of hope. But a caution must be given now. This hope was based on another’s promise from her own success. A seed built on the foundation of someone I did not know personally; someone who was trying to make a buck.
And a buck they did.
It was an advertisement for a writing program that would allow you to join a community of writers, bloggers, and the like. But under the fine print, which yes I read all of it, I misunderstood that my beginning fee JUST to be apart of the community was only the tip of the iceberg. Thanks Sigmund.
In fact, as soon as I tried to sign up, I was prompted with an offer to take a writing course. This course would specifically help in the direction of writing jobs the community specialized in. Although, I did and still believe the course works for those who buy the package, slowly I was beginning to realize something.
A cold chill set in.
God Put Me In My Place
“This isn’t right.”
“This isn’t my path.”
“What am I doing?”
Repeatedly, I had asked God to show me. “Tell me Lord”, I’d beg, “if this is what You want.”
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I don’t want to give out bad news but…we are weak and God isn’t. So when God answers us with rejection, disappointment, shattered hopes, it is not, in fact, because He wants us to suffer.
I firmly believe in humility. Jesus, above all, taught that. Sometimes we get so focused on an answer, we forget, not all answers with good news are immediate. Some take days, weeks, months and yes even more than a few years. But when it is something we do not want to deal with, listen to, or even acknowledge, it will almost always be immediate.
So I gave up my hope on the program and got my money back guarantee. Aside from the thankfulness of getting my money back, I was stuck just like I was before hope came. Then a quiet Voice reminded me of a few things.
“Who placed the hope of writing within you, in the first place?”
“Who gave you the pen to use as your Aaron?”
“And Who keeps every promise in accordance to the plan set for you?”
(NLT) Job 9:29,”Whatever happens, I will be found guilty. So what’s the use of trying?”
Appearance of Success Folly
I was thinking like Job. Sure, I sought out different ideas and directions. Yes, they all failed. (Some harder than others.) But that did not mean that the battle for writing was over. That the overall plan God has for me is ruined. No. No, even now, God is shaking the dust off my shoulders and says, “Stand up, it’s time to continue.”
Focusing on sole appearance was the issue. The success of others I saw, but not their own sweat and tears. I share more in common with them than I thought. The look of an ideal writer foolishly hoping in an instant click of everything making sense, I chose to let the appearance of doubt blind me to the truth.
There is more than what I see now. There is a meaning behind everything. No matter the time frame. No matter the time line behind me.
May God be my hope. May God be my purpose. May I not let fear or even vanity get in the way of what God has called me to do.
I am not sure what direction, how fast or slow, or who will be part of my journey. But I know my calling. God has given me the pen to use as my Aaron. No longer will I hide what He has given me.
~ T. R. Noble
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