My Calling | Maybe You Were Like Me

Even when we are afraid, God gives us strength. Glory and peace be His eternal name.

This is my calling

When I was 13, I had decided to push my relationship with Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. My home church refers to this process as sanctification. After you are saved through salvation, you take the next step rendering everything to Him.

Sanctification is not immediately part of salvation.

In salvation, Christ chose to give His all to us. When we enter salvation we start a relationship with Christ.

In sanctification, we choose to give God our all. I view it as part of the process in a relationship with Christ.

  1. We enter a relationship with Christ through His salvation.

  2. We are baptized (does not have to be by physical water) symbolizing we are called by Him and we want to draw closer.

  3. Then we choose in our relationship with Jesus to further even that. This is sanctification.

My pastor put it simply, “In salvation you receive Christ, but in sanctification Christ receives you.”

(ESV) Romans 6:22 “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.”

girl-755857_960_720.jpgFrom the beginning, when I was 4, my relationship with Christ was very much one on one. I was not led to salvation through anyone except Christ.

That isn’t to say no one could have helped me. I knew the words of salvation by then through church and Christian activities. So by myself, one summer day, I knelt at my swing set and, as the sunset drew near, I asked Christ into my life. I remember that. I ran into the kitchen, sunlight pouring through the windows, and told my mom, who was washing the dishes.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have good shepherds and teachers to help me. But God had always directed me to come to Him.

When I turned 13, I wanted God to be included extremely in my life. I would speak to Him whenever. Chatting out my feelings, my thoughts, they weren’t requests and they weren’t necessarily praises either.

I just spoke to Him. And the more I continued, the more I truly felt heard. I did pray and worship in church, but more often than not, on my own.


Problem With Christian Maturity In Youth

The more I continued in daily talk and prayers, the more I enjoyed it. The intensity of my connection to Him furthered my prayers. I would often cry out, literally in tears, to Him. Not out of sadness, but from what I felt from talking to Him. This puzzled people.

I didn’t act my age and it frustrated me to be in youth settings that focused on activities and not more intensely on scripture and God. And this…almost wasn’t accepted, or at least extremely confusing to adults.


I wanted to be with the adults. I craved learning and hearing more. Watered down milk sermons, nope didn’t care for it. Give me the meat.

(NKJ) 1 Corinthians 3:01-02 “And I, breathen, could not speak to you as to spiritual people but as to carnal, as to babes in Christ. I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able.”

I was in the midst of the masses. The mist of what most teens truly needed to hear. The tools needed for them to form friendships, and to come to Christ.


But I wanted more because God was always by my side. I clung to Him. And I grew frustrated and confused.

Why was I so different?

I would read scripture on my own and I would questions adults. Not to challenge them, but to ask when I disagreed with what I heard in discussions. I’m thankful for my pastor that encouraged me during those Sunday and Wednesday night services. I’m grateful for a shepherd that looked out for me. Pastor Jim, thank you.

But most adults didn’t understand me. They tried to water down how I talked. I could not speak or think as freely as I would have liked because it was advanced… and not common.

At a youth overnight event, I had started praying by my sleeping bag when we arrived. Since I pray intensely, tears were streaming. The adults, of course, wanted to make sure that I was fine.

But after I responded, “Yeah, just praying,” they encouraged me to get up, and talk to other teens, do activities.

This was conflicting to me even more. I’m doing what adults wanted teens to do in church, but now that we’re not at church it’s odd?


A week revival at a church had a program for teens. My friends, who both craved attention from me, did not make that trip easy. One left during the week. While the other ditched me for new friends she had met.

During the time she ditched me, she had promised that we would be able to hang out right after service. She had the room key so I was locked out of the room. In the hallway full of dorms, where the female teens stayed, I sat outside my door, reading my bible.

Youth leaders approached me. Even though I was reading scripture, they told me to go tell the other girls in their rooms (which wasn’t my job) to go outside and play kickball.

This only frustrated me more. I wasn’t focused on church, but the relationship. I wanted the focus to be on God more.


My own peers didn’t understand me. One friend put me on a pedestal because I appeared, “perfect.”

But if I struggled, then she became completely disappointed in me. Because I was young, and I am human, I made mistakes.

But God doesn’t. Our eyes should never be on mankind anyway.

Misunderstood on both sides, I was either treated like everyone else or treated like I was so far gone from everyone else. No one really spoke on my level. Maybe… no one knew.

And for these reasons, I asked God to be my Teacher.

I asked God to direct me and open my eyes to scripture.

“Lord, You have to teach me.”


What Is My Calling

Around this time, still, 13, sparks and passion flamed my heart. I was noticing hypocrisy, confusion, the mask of Christians. Anger grew within me.

We have to grow as Christians if we are to be the light. You cannot lead another to Christ if you do not reflect. We do not save, but Christ does. If Christ can’t use us as vessels, He isn’t shining.

Several years later God gave me my answer. On a Wednesday night service, the speaker of the night asked us what our calling was. My heart stirred and immediately my heart answered,

“Believers. My calling is for believers.”

(NLT) 2 Peter 2:21 “It would be better if they had never known the way to righteousness than to know it and then reject the command they were given to live a holy life.”

I’ve had dreams where I would be speaking to a body of believers. Sometimes in those dreams, I would be yelling and crying out to them. Anything to get them to understand what God is revealing. We cannot stay the same.


Becoming A Branch Of The Vine

Every one is a different branch of the True Vine. We all have callings. We have talents He has given us. We need to be attentive to Him.

(B) John 15: 01-03 “I am the true vine, and My Father is the keeper of the vineyard. He cuts off every branch in Me that bears no fruit, and every branch that does bear fruit, He prunes to make it even more fruitful.”

God took years to truly humble those feelings that I began to feel when I was 13. He used the anger to become understanding. He used frustration to become kindness. And yes, He is still at work. How great is our God!


Not Being Afraid To Speak Among The Masses

God has shown me it is okay to be in the midst of the masses because He truly has a plan!

I don’t know if anyone can relate to this if you were or are a teen, young and misunderstood.

I still get misunderstood all the time. I thought my 20s would change that, but it wasn’t so. Yet when God revealed my calling, everything started to make sense. Where people failed me, God didn’t.

Therefore, I want to give you a promise that God gave me. Some of you may already be familiar.

(NKJ) Jeremiah 1:06-09 ““Then said I: “Ah, Lord God! Behold, I cannot speak, for I am a youth. But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, I am a youth, for you shall go to all to whom I send you. And whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of their faces, for I am with you to deliver you,” says the Lord. Then the Lord put forth His hand and touched my mouth, and the Lord said to me: “Behold, I have put My words in your mouth.””

Do you know what God has called you to do?

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(Can’t get enough posts? Check out my second blog Peeking Beneath)

37 thoughts on “My Calling | Maybe You Were Like Me

  1. Great post. The fact that you have such a connection with God is amazing and He has already answered your question: What is my calling? God is going to do great work through you to reach others. He called you to be a writer; so write for Him because only through Him can you reach and touch others.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much! You are so right, it is only through Christ His light will shine out of me. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement, and for stopping by to read 🙂


  2. Well I can see why you write with so much punch! Not just to make friends;-). Really good to know a bit of your story. How old are you now may I ask? Actually I found myself getting a bit emotional reading it. I feel like I have the gift of exhortation and a touch of teaching. I am passionate about participating in the process of sanctification, the Christian identity and church community and I feel strongly about sharing and spurring other believers to take this stuff more seriously than they do. However I have often felt not equipped or bold enough because of my own brokenness. In that I have found that’s where God can use a person, when they are humble and willing to come as they are. Your story has encouraged me. Thank ya

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for being honest and open as well. I turned 28 in August. I actually read over this post tonight, and I got emotional reading it. I remember that time very well. You are right, God uses all parts of us, especially the broken pieces. In the midst of discussions, I still have a hard time opening up because I’m surrounded by those who are older than me. My voice shakes, and I catch my breath. But if God puts something I open up because I know He wants me to, even if I am afraid. Glory to be to Him, who am I to stand in front of Him? I don’t think most of us feel truly and fully equipped. I think it’s about trusting God will provide in the moment, so a test of faith in that sense. We walk not only anything except we have testimony in our heart, the love of Christ in our soul, and the sword of Spirit at our side. 🙂 I’m glad my story could encourage you. That’s really one of the main things I want to do as a writer. Let everything God has done for me glorify Him. He is so amazing, and He truly is encouraging to us all. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The awesome thing about God using his kids is that 1. We are all children of God so your age doesn’t matter my dear lol and 2. He is looking for those who want to be used by him, not for people who have their own agenda’s. I am pretty sure age has nothing to do with it. So keep getting emotional as it shows your human(Jesus wept) and please keep discerning and sharing truth!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I completely agree with you. The main reason I speak of age is because it has been used against me. Others have made assumptions, tried to lecture (as I wrote of 🙂 ) or try to make themselves appear more knowledgable when trying to answer me. At first, and for years, this truly troubled me. Sometimes, it still does.

        But God has used what happened for me to share it with others. To do exactly as you said, age doesn’t matter. It doesn’t reflect a person’s maturity with Christ. It shouldn’t be used as a measure for older adults to feel they have to immediately correct a young person.

        I remember the way I felt, and I knew in my heart God was telling me, “Don’t forget how you feel right now, because there will be other teens when you are older, who will feel this same way. They will feel alone. Help them not feel so alone.”

        Something interesting I had read about tears was that in both good or bad situations that cause us to cry, the scientific reasoning is because the emotion (and chemical build up of the emotion) is too much for the body. So, there is a release in the form of tears.

        Knowing this, it touches me that much more. To feel the overwhelming flood of power and love Christ has for me, and knowing this mortal vessel can’t handle it. Amen. 🙂 Thank you so much!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. This was definitely me! I was that 12 year old who thought so deeply, and it was weird. Because of that I always connected with people who were older than me. But now it’s not weird, I’m so happy I have the fire I do. 🙂 I love this!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. T.R. – Oh, how I loved reading this. This is me, too. Oh, how I identify! And, it doesn’t get any easier the older I get, either. I am still misunderstood by most people I know, I think. I don’t fit in with most women my age or with most people your age, either. Doing what I do each day, writing on here, is just foreign to most people I know, especially because of what God has me write.

    Some people think I am a man if all they see is cfservant and don’t see my picture. I guess maybe they think I write like a man, and not like most women they know.

    When I was a teenager I didn’t want to sit in the back with the rest of the teens. I was in the front row or second row, just drinking in the Word of God. I also believed in Jesus as my Savior by myself, with just me and God. And, Jeremiah 1 is definitely part of God’s calling on my life, too. I could go on and on about how many ways our lives parallel each other, but I won’t. Funny that you are 28. I will be 68 next month.

    When I was in my early 30s, the elders and pastor of my church rejected me and judged me falsely, comparing me to themselves. The pastor said, “You speak with too much authority for such a young woman. Wait until you get some gray hairs on your head. Then people will listen to you.” Well, now I have the gray hairs. 🙂 Love you! Sue

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I deeply appreciate your comment and your sharing of your experiences 🙂 It is refreshing to hear it doesn’t matter about age truthfully. My mom has told me maturity in Christians vary by age, elders are one thing of course, but maturity doesn’t have an age limit with God. I originally wanted people just to know my author name whether they think I’m a man or not, but God pushed me to be open. Use the fact I am a woman of Him, and whatever He wants of me, He’ll provide the way, even if anyone else has an issue with it. I’m so grateful you shared this with me 🙂 . Honestly, I didn’t know God could use the internet as a way to minister, but I fully see how He has allowed me to do just that with my writing. He continues to speak to my heart and amazes me with the insight He’s shown me.

      “Who am I,” I often find myself asking, and all I know is, “I’m His, and He wants me. That’s enough.” ❤ 🙂

      Peace be with you Sue, thank you again!!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you! I ditto a lot of what you just said. I, as well, didn’t know about ministry on the internet until 2004 when the Lord used Habakkuk 2:2-3 to call me to this ministry. V. 2 says:

    “Write down the revelation
    and make it plain on tablets
    so that a herald may run with it.”

    The Lord showed me that the “revelation” is what he teaches me through his Word each day, “the tablet” is my computer, and “the herald” is the internet. My job is to write what he shows me through his word each day and to place it on the internet (the herald) so that the herald can run with it. Thus, the name of my blog is “Run With It.”

    When I began, I was totally green, so I had to learn how this was supposed to work, and it certainly has been a learning and a growing experience for me.

    Well, that’s enough said. 🙂 I am sure we’ll talk again sometime soon. Sue

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That scripture is powerful thank you for sharing. 🙂 I want to become a Christian author, and I want my blog to always be available for others. God inspired me to write a blog while working on the book series and I’m so glad I listened to Him. Thank you for opening up and sharing your heart. 🙂 it means so much to me..

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Wonderful post. I love hearing how God works in each life. My calling? When I was younger, I would say God used me to help children the most, at church and in our family. Now I think my calling is to help those who were abused as children like I was, and have a mental illness. These people help me too. I’ve met them here on WordPress. Also, I think God wants me to encourage other believers and help non-believers to see the beauty of God. I know part of my calling is to take care of my mother. She has lived with us for 2 years now. I’m so grateful I can do this.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m so glad you could relate to this! 🙂 We are definitely missing a heart issue in church, and I think, at least from what I saw growing up, people are stubborn. They want their way. They want to be heard. They struggle hearing the truth, and knowing change is involved.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes sometimes we are trying too hard to save the people outside with activities and other stuff that we miss the issue inside the church. Many of us are either lost while inside the church because we do not have that close relationship with God; we are not focused on what is going on inside of us. We really do need a close encounter with God.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Completely agree. We get focused on everyone else, or what they’re doing wrong, that we struggle to understand when we are wrong as well. There are a lot of distractions in ministries, sometimes the ministry itself, or a person is consumed with doing too much, like you shared.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I know and that’s what I try to get across on my blog is that we have to be full of God foremost so that anyone that we come across they see his presence in the way we speak, walk or being and they will want to know about him without all this huge things that distract from the real goal at hand and that is for them to have a relationship with God.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I can relate! Thank God that He is so faithful to help us through this confusing world. I was 9 years old when I got saved at church and I remember being so excited and then when I told my mom , she seemed uncomfortable with my enthusiasm. I felt like I’d done something wrong or odd by being excited. I’ve never forgotten that. But guess what ? It was real. I haven’t changed. I’m an evangelist at heart, like you, a person who is compelled to share the Gospel even when people reject them. You never know when God will open their eyes and heart to the truth and suddenly everything you said to them will make sense. There is another side to it ,as I think you know, the part where we get frustrated when things aren’t perfect. God is still working on me in that area. 🙂 Learning to accept whatever happens as His perfect will. God bless you and keep up the good work!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amen!! Praise God! You are right, it is real. It is powerful. God works in so many different ways. He speaks to people on their level, and not how we think they should be. Thank the Lord, He reaches us where we are at, right? 🙂 I get confused and upset when I don’t understand and when things are uncertain. But as scriptures say I do not want to be the seed that gets caught up in thorns and choked by the cares of this world. It is all about Him and He wants. Yes!! God bless you!!! 🙂


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