Tonight has been exhausting. I didn’t run a marathon. I wasn’t constantly out and about doing errands. I didn’t even do the house chores… yet.
But I am exhausted.
And I am relieved.
Within the past year, my husband has been in Korea. I had to deal with movers coming to our apartment, packing all of our stuff, including my medication. Feeling helpless, overwhelmed, and very unprepared. The day they came was two days earlier than I expected. A sink full of dishes that needed to be packed.
Fear. Embarrassment. Constant shaking in my chest I tried to control while holding back tears.
I don’t do well with change.
And yet…here I am. Married to a man who signed with the Air Force, almost six years ago.
Soon, our journey will begin anew again. He will be getting out. We will be moving back with family, for a short time, and then we take off.
It’s been a lot to bear on my mind. Anxiety and worry tend to keep to themselves during the day but at night…
Well, it’s become a nightly meeting after midnight for my thoughts to jar against each other.
Which is why I told myself today, “Give it to God.”
The inspirational pictures on the wall.
Every step in the staircase.
With my hands, I prayed over each piece. Giving God my opportunities. Giving God control to be ahead of me. Asking Jesus to walk behind me. Seeking the Holy Spirit to stand right beside me (and within).
I want Him involved in everything, and when everything appears too much to bear, I have to hand it to Him.
Tears stream down, prayers are lifted up. Reassurance is given. Comfort is sent. A reminder of His plan shines down on me.
And I am at peace.
I know there are things He is at work with as we speak, things I cannot see. But I am working on trusting Him.
Through all this uncertainty, this is for certain.
Jesus Christ lives in me! His salvation pours over me anointing me as His child. His Spirit fills me with hope and protects me in armor. Though the wolf may lurk, he will not get through my great Shepherd.
For when I am weak, He is most strong.
Praise His holy name. Amen.
Pt. 2 (which was posted before this) – God Will Use My Brokenness | Life Update
(Can’t get enough posts? Check out my second blog Peeking Beneath)
(All Images Are From Pexels)
This is the song my heart has singing to Him.
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