Do you ever have those thoughts that quietly enter your mind, and whisper a deep secret of the soul? I had one of those a couple nights ago.
This scripture prompted the thought.
(NLT) 1 Peter 1:14, “So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then.”
My life has been very chaotic this past month. I’ve dealt with stress and nerves. Fear mingled in doubt. But I’ve also learned a lot through the experience. I didn’t want to let fear rule over me like I had done in the past. Which led me to think about what God has been teaching me during this time.
Fear grips my heart, yet His peace unravels its hold.
Uncertainty trips my steps, His guiding hand becomes my balance.
Shadows cross over me, and Jesus covers me in His light.
There are times I feel so unworthy to experience these feelings of assurance and peace because at these same times I’m struggling to put trust in the unseen. But the small, fragile pieces I have, God begins to water.
And I see Him and His hand in my life.
Instead of clinging to my old ways of fear, Christ wants me to work on faith and trust. The more my relationship with God blossoms, the more attached I am to Him, and less attached to the world.
Faith doesn’t have to start out great. I suppose that’s why Jesus said,
(NLT) Matthew 17:20, “You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”
Last week, there was a particular incident where I felt my nerves and panic rise. I knew I had the choice to either continue to let it peak, or stop it in its tracks. Because God is the King of all kings, Alpha and Omega, and Creator of all, I was reminded of how truly powerful God is. The fact alone that He chooses to love us, and be our Father. True fathers do all they can to take care of their kids. So I asked myself the following;
Do you believe God will keep His word? Yes. Then hold onto His promise.
Do you trust God will not stray from you? Yes. Then cling to His Spirit within you.
Within my fear, I fought to trust in the Almighty who has gotten me this far. As I did, an overwhelming sensation of warmth flooded throughout my entire body. I knew my King would keep His word. I FELT He would protect me. So while doubt tried to enter, I fought against it with the trust and truth Jesus Christ has always given me.
When my husband and I visited an aquarium last week, I got a necklace. It has a small round circle with the words, “It was then I carried you,” from the Footsteps poem. These words I have held onto, sometimes physically clutching my necklace. “My God is with me. He keeps His word. He said He’ll be there for me.”
That moment has stood out to me ever since it happened, and it’s been a lesson I now try to apply in my fear.
Last night, as tears fell past my face struggling to trust Him, worrying about our final inspection before we started the drive back, I looked at God’s word for answers, for assurance. Do You hear me, God? Do You see me?
For the last couple of weeks, the scriptures I read have applied themselves directly into my life. Last night was no different. God answered me with these two pieces of scripture.
(NLT) 1 Peter 1:07, “These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold–though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”
(NLT) 1 Peter 1:08, “You love Him even though you have never seen Him. Though you do not see Him now, you trust Him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy.”
For the moments I’ve wondered if God could feel, understand my weakened faith, trust, and love for Him, especially against this fear and doubt. It felt as if He was answering me, “Yes, I hear you. I see your brokenness, but child I AM your strength! Trust Me, I’m not done with you yet.”
Praise God, He listens to us!! He will speak and answer us!
Be patient. Listen!
Seek Him out, because He is reaching back towards us.
~T. R. Noble