(I was not planning on writing today. But as I was worshipping God I kept having this strong scene in my mind, and I just had to write a piece on the message. I hope it speaks to you.)
Raindrops fall down my face against the darkening skies. Sunset had not appeared. It vanished before the oncoming black clouds.
Standing in the center of four roads.
No light. No help.
And no sense of direction.
“God, why am I here?” The question barely escapes my trembling lips. “Are You here, Lord?” Wind pelts against me refusing to allow me to move.
The location had not always appeared this way. There used to be blue skies. Songs of birds and humming of butterfly wings. Gentle hills with grass that swayed calmly.
The mountains invaded without warning. There was no sign.
Growing steadily in height and width. Blocking out the rays of His light.
I used to be walking on only one road, but then, when the mountains came, He told me to stand in the middle.
I could deal with the fog. I could deal with the clouds.
But the storm came as soon as my feet touched the center.
“Are You there, Lord?” It felt like His silence affirmed my fear.
“What are you talking about?” A small voice echoed against the thunder.
A small girl, about preschool age, skipped around me. The wind did not phase her. The storm did not stop her.
She stops suddenly and points besides my right shoulder. “He never left. Don’t you know that? Can’t you see Him? Can’t you feel Him?”
My eyes fall down in shame catching a reflection in a puddle. A reflection of the woman this young girl grows up to be.
The thunder continues to roar, and the lightning flashes.
“He’s stronger than that.” The little girl whispers staring off past my shoulder.
Fear, anxiety, and doubt beckon to enter my heart.
“He’s stronger than them.” She shifts her gaze to me.
The pattering of raindrops shifts into sounds of a ticking clock. “You’ve lost time,” she says sadly. “But,” she turns and looks towards my shoulder again, “He’s stronger than that.”
She vanishes with a smile, and her eyes focused on Him.
An ache cries and fills my soul.
As a child, I dreamed of fulfilling His plan and discovering His purpose. But now that the steps to His plan have finally entered, these invasive mountains. My dreams have broken into a nightmare.
Yet her words continue to ring out. “He’s stronger than that. He’s stronger than them.”
Tears mingle with rain. “I’m an adult and I’m afraid. I’m still a child.”
A desperation clings within the memory of turning my life over when I was four years old to Him. “One day I’ll see His plan. One day I’ll see His purpose.”
My hands tighten into fists at my sides. “But I’m HIS child!”
Yelling into the night against the rain and against the mountains. “I can’t stop because of you! You won’t be the reason I quit because He is the reason I can continue!”
The rain stops. The wind slows.
I start to feel a light pressure on my right shoulder. “I left You,” I whisper.
He nods, “But I never left you. When you stay with Me, you will see the path I have for you, and it starts with one step forward.”
“But how will I know where to go?”
He hugs me and power radiates like electricity throughout Him. “If you trust Me, you will see when you take a step forward.”
“Why can’t I stay here with You? If You’re with me, like now, then I know I’ll be okay.”
“Because,” He smiles, “there is so much more to do, and I need you to follow Me. Remember, I AM always with you.”
Nervously I take a breath. Inside panic rises in my chest, but I cling to His words. “He promised me.”
One step forward, and immediately a lamp post emerges out of the darkness.
“That is where I need you to go,” He whispers, and repeats, “I AM always with you.”
I can’t physically see Him, yet I know in my heart, the lamp post is a way that I can.
I walk forward.
(NIV) Psalm 5:08, “Lead me, LORD, in Your righteousness because of my enemies– make Your way straight before me.”
Thanks for reading!! I hope you enjoyed this!
Could you relate?
Monthly Scripture- NKJ Psalm 9:10, “And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; for Your Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.”
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Second Blog: Peeking Beneath