Deception, Lies, Pressure | Single Christian Girl
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Deception, Lies, Pressure | Single Christian Girl

T. R. Noble

This is at least going to be a two-part post series. Today is the introduction. We’re going to discuss how deception sinks not only in romance movies/books but in Christian romance novels as well. We’re going to talk about the pressure set in the world around us. 

Looking back now, I only had media and the googly eyes students gave each other in the hall to have a glimpse of what I thought was a relationship in the world of dating. I honestly think my main desire at 12 was to be liked by someone. For someone to notice me like I noticed them. *Cue the imaginative “fantasy” of the boy I crushed on saying he liked me. Gasp! And end curtain. 

That was it.

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I truly had NO idea what a relationship in the sense of dating meant, and I was young enough to not fully grasp how special dating honestly should be. I was fixated and imaginative on how I thought things be would like. Cheesy romantic lines, being showered with attention from my special guy…I hope I wasn’t the only teen who thought somewhat selfishly…

As a believer, we are to be selfless, not self-focused. But this world is all about selfishness. There is a lot of deception in romance movies and novels. A lot of hidden entitlement. 

Scripture teaches husbands to put their wives about themselves, however, that does not mean our husbands will put us on a pedestal, that’s a form of idol worship. I think women and young girls sometimes walk into a relationship with the wrong kind of expectation. “You can’t be flawed, however, I can be, that makes me cute, and you can’t point out any of my flaws.” 

I admit I’m a stubborn woman, having media only enforce it’s okay for me be stubborn will not help me grow. 

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And then we have the sexual tension and passion pushed in romantic movies and novels. This is actually seen in many Christian romance novels too. A Christian YouTuber I follow, Katie, talked about how she was a huge fan of those books as a teen. But then she started to notice even if a setting was in the 1700 or 1800s things would be sexualized that shouldn’t be. “Gasp! He saw her silky white ankle!.” First kisses may be two pages long. That kind of stuff, it’s the same thing, just not as modern as today. (Katie owned 111 Christian Romance Novels just FYI, she knows what she is talking about.)

Katie’s Video | Please Don’t Read Christian Romance Novels

Katie’s First Video On Topic | Why This Christian Hates Christian Romance Novels

Now with all of this being said, I haven’t touched on how to handle being single as a Christian, particularly focusing as a Christian female. Truthfully, I think with the world we live in there’s a lot of pressure. There’s a lot of misinformation. Like Katie discussed, it’s even sinking into Christian romance novels that teens read.

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I’ve read posts by Christian teen bloggers who are excited to date because of the Christian romance books they’ve read. This worries me! Those books…90% FICTION books are meant for entertainment purposes only. Yet with the movies, the novels, and innocence of a believer deception lurks at the door.

Its temptation is enticing as subtle as it is. However, we only need one foot in the door to start opening the door.

What I am going to cover will not be with a pointed finger. I am going to rely on my past experiences as a Christian teen, following what I’ve learned as I matured, and then focus on scripture help.

Everything in life is not roses. Our fantasies are not reality. The world’s lies are not truth. Loving someone of this world and loving Jesus Christ are two different things. Often times there will be sacrifices we have to make, priorities to choose. And we can only serve one master.

In the next post, I want to talk about ways to strengthen our walk with Christ. Ways to stay focused. If you truly desire to have the right walk with Him, if He is your Lord and Savior, then tighten the belt of truth around your waist and hold the sword of the Spirit at your side because it is easy to get sidetracked with feelings when it comes to dating and staying single while you wait.

Part Two You can Read Here – False Expectations, Drawing Close To Christ | Single Christian Girl

This post was inspired by a wonderful blogger friend of mine, Tammy.  I hope this post and the next one are not disappointing 🙂 

And Remember...Be The Salt Of The earthAnd The Light On The HillWe Are His Branches1

Monthly Scripture- (NIV) Psalms 62:01-02, 05, “Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from Him. Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him.”

*** Community Prayer Request | August ’18 – Join Me In Praying For Each Other And If You Have A Request To Add Let Me Know. A New Prayer Request Post Comes Out Every Month And Is Updated As Requests And Updates Come In. 

Second Blog: Peeking Beneath

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Published by T. R. Noble

Growing up as a teen, adults did not provide me with the answers I wanted. I thought I was spiritually mature. Decades later, I saw the importance of understanding and being able to identify deception, false teachers/prophets. I realized my own ignorance about the Bible and the need to study all portions. I came out of the false doctrine of the Seeker-Driven movement, as well as the Holiness doctrine, suffering under the legalism of sinless perfection. My goal is to help women grow in the word of God. To trust His word. To tear apart deceptions, and to encourage Christian Apologetics. My second blog is Peeking Beneath, little more personal, which occasionally is updated. Aside from blogging, I am a wife. I occasionally work on a Christian Fantasy series. I enjoy painting, gardening, cooking, reading, crocheting, and learning from godly men and women.

41 thoughts on “Deception, Lies, Pressure | Single Christian Girl”

  1. Reblogged this on Ann Malley and commented:
    Attention writers and readers of Inspy Romance.

    This just in from Inside Cup. Blogger and devoted Christian, T.R. Noble has some serious charges to level at the Christian Romance genre.

    Is she right? Wrong?

    Has the Inspirational market crossed the line into glorified temptation? Or is Noble, despite noble intentions, seeking a scapegoat for fallen human nature?

    It’s often not a love of the Lord that sees temptation everywhere.

    It’s fear. (And not the filial kind that places abundant trust in a loving Father.)

    Write on…

    Liked by 1 person

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  2. Romance novels pull on your heartstrings, and give you a false sense of how relationships happen, or how they should be.

    Most plots revolve around unresolved tension until the man realizes the woman has some taming/civilizing effect on him. In the real world, this is how a relationship falls apart.

    Romance novels are as damaging to women as porn is to men.

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    1. Agreed. I dont think romance novels (unless graphic) create the same addiction for women. But they absolutely warp expectation, so true! And this further encourages women to think they can change men. I’ve seen it multiple times and it is just sad. It also encourages somewhat manipaulative behavior, “I can make him become what I want him to be.”

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  3. I cringed at the video so hard. Not because I disagree, but because over the past couple of years, I’ve gotten into Christian romance novels. And she’s right. 😅 (Though I can think of a few that don’t end with pregnancy. But maybe those were just exceptions to the rule. 😆)

    I agree with what you’ve said. They are not meant to be real. I hadn’t realized the danger in these books and other media, especially to teens. Quite eye-opening!

    I’ve never expected to have a relationship like the ones portrayed in these books – but then, I’ve never expected to have a relationship period. First I have to you know… meet a guy… 😂

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    1. I remember when we were talking about the books 🙂 and yes, definitely, not every single book will be one way. I think many people do not realize the influence these forms of media can have on us. You never know how the Lord will work 🙂

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      1. Hehe, me too. 🙂

        I agree. I’ll certainly be more careful now. 🙂

        You know, this really makes me want to write a Christian romance and do everything possible to break every stereotype and make it more realistic…

        Liked by 2 people

  4. I think you are the first person I have ever heard speak openly about what i have thought about many times. I really think it is important for christians to be able to tell the difference between a relationship and romantic ideals given by media. It is also important to know the difference between lust and love according to the bible. They are very different things.

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    1. Amen!!! You are right! There is a huge difference between the two, and I think temptation becomes apparent when the two become lukewarm. Believers who are not strong in Christ, their walk and following Him can easily fall through enticement, and not know it. For anything that is part of this world we allow ourselves to take part of, we can easily slip and fall in. Romance ideas definitely one of them, leading to fantasy and lustful desire. You are right, too. We need to talk more openly about these things. I see a number of believers be enticed with Fifty Shades of Grey for example, yet struggle with their walk in Christ. There are so many things we can do in our lives that can be obvious indicators we are not following in His ways, and thus that creates disconnection, not God forsaking us in silence, but we forsaking Him. You have inspired me with making certain points in the next post 🙂 thanks!!

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      1. I agree so much and I think this is a topic that chould be spoke about more in youth group at church and other youth ministries. I am glad to have inspired you and I can not wait to read more of your posts. 🙂

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  6. I fell into this trap of romance years ago. Thankfully God put before me the right boy who turned out to be the right man for a little over 50 years. I wish my grand children were old enough for your blog.This will be a much needed lesson. thank you

    Liked by 4 people

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    1. Praise God for directing you 🙂 that’s wonderful!! It is a lesson I think a lot of people don’t know how to direct with pre-teens and teens. But it needs to be talked about, and teens need to feel heard too. 🙂 I hope to do that with these posts.

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  7. Good stuff here. The level of sensuality in teen novels (even those which aren’t romance novels) is disturbing. It’s been a while since I was a teen, but I don’t recall needing any encouragement in the unrealistic expectation or sensuality department…. 😉

    Liked by 3 people

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    1. Agreed! I think it’s hard too when peers around you encourage that kind of thinking and talk. It’s a joke people make a lot when it comes to young girls and their dreams of dating or marriage. But it really isn’t funny when it leads to girls being upset and hurt that their expectations were not what they thought.

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  8. Great post! Thanks for sharing this! I used to struggle with being single but I’m content now, knowing God has great plans for me and if that includes getting married then great….if He wants me to remain single then that’s fine too!

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    1. 🙂 yes! I never read those type of books but even the romance movies or teen movies I watched definitely warp what is real. Even if we know something is fiction it intensifies our, as you said, expectation.

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  11. Haha! T.R. I am currently working on a post about singleness. So we are currently thinking about the same thing. Secondly, I have a speaking engagement tomorrow and I will be talking about waiting for the right time. So this post has reminded me of some points. Bravo young lady! Holy Spirit you are always on time!!!

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    1. 🙂 amen, He is!!! The second part will be focusing on our relationship with Christ and how to build that up. I’m so glad more than once we have spoken of or wrote on something the other was writing on or considering! ❤

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  14. I can say the same about Disney, too. Anyways, great post. Romance was never a favorite genre of mine, but I do give it a chance from time to time if it appeals to me.

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    1. Disney definitely hypes up everything. I had talked to my husband a few months ago about how Disney is basically a lie. All those who go to Disney land or Disney world, it’s all about money, and that’s a pretty mean lie to sell to kids.

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      1. When I was younger, I loved anything Disney. Then I outgrew magic and realized that I was being lied to. Yes, it’s always about the money and brainwashing. They don’t care about childhoods.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Thanks TR. I haven’t read any Christian romantic novels but it’s an eye opener. Thanks for bringing this to my notice. Thanks again for sharing. I hope that our teens will take cognizance of this.

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    1. I hope so too. I think it’s great to keep an open mind and know what we are reading is fiction. But especially as a teen, I think it is harder for teens not have unrealistic expectations especially for something they have not experienced yet. That mindset only strengthens as an adult making it difficult.

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