(I’m thankful to share I’ve been forgiven.)
This past week I published a post inspired by something that happened. A summary, I commented on a post and because I had the opposite view my comment was not taken well, or in my view, it was not taken well. I felt part of the response was a little harsh and meant to dissect what I said.
But I need to be completely honest here. God taught me SO MUCH because I waited on publishing my post covering the topic. He helped me work on editing out a lot of parts that were written in emotion or sounded “sassy.”
However, when the incident occurred, which later inspired the post, I was emotional.
I tried to open up about it but I really believe I was cloaked in my emotions of anger, hurt, and wanting to desperately be understood. I wanted my side to be understood badly. No one likes being told they’re wrong, let alone multiple times. (And I’ve been the commenter who has previously discussed things I’ve disagreed with multiple times as well.)
…The thing is…being emotional is NOT Christlike.
This is the main reason last year I wrote the misunderstood post. (People were misunderstanding being emotional over being zealous.)
In my post last week, Women Oppression | Can We Talk Without Casting Stones I talked about how silencing someone is not Christlike.
But I want to make CLEAR, let no one misunderstand, what originally inspired this post was seeded in bitterness, pain, and anger. By the time it got published God helped me burn those seeds and make sure they would not grow.
All but one really.
I had to seek forgiveness. I thought originally when I tried to explain myself to the person it was done properly but God revealed when I spoke out of emotion and reaction, it was not Christlike. No matter how “well” I tried to word myself.
It was focused on self.
And this my dear reader is hypocritical.
The desire to be heard. The desire to be understood. The desire to feel justified by my words.
I’ve been doing a Bible Study with a dear friend, and we have been covering a devotional together as well. The past three chapters alone have been about fellowshipping with others, hearing people out, seeking forgiveness, making it more about someone else than ourselves.
It does not matter if we are the offender or the offended. We need to break down selfish barriers. We need to make peace. That is what it means to be Christlike. To swallow pride. To let go of “always feeling right.” It is not about that.
I had a speck in my eye because of this.
Jesus wants us to love.
And if we are letting these things affect us as bloggers…what are we doing in our lives with the people around us when we have issues.
We are a body of believers. We are the CHURCH. If we have issues, we have to talk to each other in love, not rudely! This is true fellowship. It is not happiness, puppies, and butterflies. Breaking bread is breaking the truth among each other.
We can’t be so blind we are not aware of when we are hypocritical. Rude comments are not spoken in love and I am beginning to see I have definitely been rude in trying to explain how I disagree with something.
God used what happened to me for good. He taught me so much I can use for the better and in the future. But He also reminded me I am not perfect. I do not want to come off flawless because I’m not.
I truly was blind. So heightened with my offense of being hurt I could not focus on anything else, or anyone’s feelings. Christ teaches us to understand each other, even when we disagree, and I did not do that. Yes, I did feel attacked, but in the eyes of Christ, this does not matter. That may be hard to hear. Christ is about loving others, even when we are hurt, more than loving ourselves.
This is also not being about being a “martyr” if we try to “love” people because of attention and making others look bad for their actions we have already become the hypocrite.
Since I was quite open about the experience on the post, I want to be open here. I was hypocritical. I needed to seek forgiveness.
I’m thankful God allowed the post on women oppression to raise awareness and encourage bloggers to make sure we always speak in love in a Christlike way. The longer I waited and daily edited God revealed to me why it is important the topic is discussed. He opened my heart with love.
But because the behind the scenes stuff was not always so Christlike I feel accountable to be open with you as well.
May God continue to humble me.
May God continue to prick me with the truth of what it means to show His love.
There will be some circumstances in which we will not be able to reconcile. There will be some serious issues in which these things that I wrote about are not relating to that circumstance. But misunderstandings from discussions absolutely should be encouraged for clarity, forgiveness, mercy, understanding, and growth.
Monthly Scripture – (NIV) Galatians 6:17, “From now on, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.”
*** Community Prayer Request | September ’18 – Join Me In Praying For Each Other And If You Have A Request To Add Let Me Know.
Second Blog: Peeking Beneath