It Was A Rocky Year, My Playlist Even Reflected It

These songs may not be new to 2018 but they were the ones I found and connected with deeply. I tried to put them in order as I grew attached to them throughout the past year.

Phil Wickham – Secret Place

Mandisa – Born For This

Elevation Worship – Do It Again

Ledger – Foreigner

We As Human – Zombie & Let Me Drown

Skillet – The Resistance 

Sara Reeves – Easy

TobyMac – The Elements

Casting Crowns – Hands Of The Potter 

Last year was about trials and learning to endure despite feeling despair. So many times I was concerned about our finances. Wondering what was I doing and providing as a wife to my husband. I wrote for God and He’s provided a ministry but no money, at this time, comes from it.

I felt eyes were on me and judging me for staying home and being the main cause for our tight budget. 

It was so confusing. Then, the middle of the year, our scariest month dealing with our budget, I questioned my writing. I wondered about the book series. What if this was not something God would use financially? 

Would I still write this?

It tormented and haunted me for about a week with people’s questions and judgemental advice. But I came to the conclusion I wanted to write a story for God before all of this. I want to write Him a story so I can place it at His feet. It’s a crown He has helped me with, and one I want to give back to Him.

The middle of the year became a series of songs about trusting God even when things feel foreign and I was confused about where I was. To not give up despite others.

God provided with our finances. He helped me stretch our budget. Despite the trial, my marriage didn’t crumble but strengthened. We didn’t have arguments about money. Is this why God has provided a loving husband who enjoys me at home? I’m not the perfect housewife, by far. But I can take care of the home so when he is out he doesn’t have to worry about it.

In the mid-summer, God started pressing deeply on my heart to pray for peers and sisters in Christ. He reminded me of how I prayed for a church in Little Rock, and He provided. I was praying for a church, but never felt led anywhere. But I felt Him press me for a stronger and intimate group of women I could turn to as a sister in Christ. I wasn’t praying for it, so I started.

God blessed me with a dear friend visiting and staying for the weekend twice last year. He blessed small moments with gratitude and He held my hand through fear. He gave me memories that were not tainted in fear. In late July/August, He blessed me with a dear sister in Christ from the blogging community. We started up Bible Study every Wednesday. Through her, I met another sister in Christ, and now we have a group we all communicate together on. Answered prayer. 

Towards the end of the year, songs reflected trials once more with reminders that God is always close to us. We are not forgotten. We can cry out to Him and we are heard. Life is not easy when it comes to God but to draw close to Him, to find the narrow way, it is not easy. But every trial is ultimately worth it. Our growth and gain in Christ becomes more solid in His foundation.

Our budget is still rocky during this time. Prayers for God to direct my husband to a co-op in his field is much appreciated. I am thankful for everything God has taught me and the way He looked out for us even when my fear limited me in trusting Him and seeing how He would always be present.

Don’t give up on God.

He truly has a plan, especially in darkness.

He is, after all, the Light.

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Comment Below:

What was your last year like?

Did God use music to speak to you?

Monthly Scripture- (NLT) 2 Corinthians 5:17, “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

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