Relationship with Christ

I Thought I Blasphemed The Holy Spirit | Obsessive & Intrusive Thoughts

Updated: Jan. 5, 2022 – Edited a few sentences, and added resources 

What you will read below is my story and how I dealt with the unpardonable sin and my fear. However, I knew I needed to do a much better breakdown of the topic, if you struggle with fear of the unpardonable sin, please consider also checking out: Did I Commit The Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit / Unpardonable Sin?

First, and foremost, I’m not against medicine. I think God provides medicine for the mind, in the same way, He provides medicine and help (like physical therapy) for the body. Also, I am not a licensed doctor or therapist. 

Our mind is a lot more complex than any other part of our body. It often becomes the main ground for spiritual warfare. It becomes a garden for seeds of sin to be planted. It is a place we often allow doors to be open.

The mind often makes us feel powerless. 

Some people are bent on the mentality of, “Just get over it.” 

Get over the anxiety.

Get over the random thoughts. 

To which, I’ll say.

Get over your gossip.

Get over your judgemental thoughts, the ones you don’t say, but think. 

Get over your drinking/smoking.

Get over watching sinful shows with cursing, nudity, taking God’s name in vain, idols, worship of supernatural, etc. 

…want me to go on 😉  

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The things I listed WE MAKE A CHOICE TO DO! Sometimes we are so accustomed to gossip, judgment, harming our body with substances, or what we expose ourselves to we simply accept our choices. We don’t think about them and how they affect us. 

Post | Are We The Rich Man With Our Entertainment?

Post | Stop Coddling Your Sin & Making Excuses

But obsessive thoughts, which are often intrusive…well, let me ask you, do you really think someone wants (chooses) to be obsessed with these thoughts to the point that it interferes with their life?

We can choose gossip and know the consequences. It benefits us as stress relief and allows us to indulge. But with obsessive thinking, most people do not willingly desire to indulge in obsessive thoughts. It’s endless. It’s damaging. There’s no form of relief.

I want to point out, these kinds of thoughts do not mean the individual is sinful for having them. The individual may be sinning in other ways, and we’ll get to that, but obsessive thoughts more than likely are not sinful in themselves. 

Which…I struggled to believe. 

My Story: I Thought I Blasphemed The Holy Spirit

From 2017 to 2019…yeah at the time of this post, only a few months ago, I started having thoughts repeatedly, over and over, that said the same phrase. And because of these thoughts, I was convinced I had blasphemed the Holy Spirit.

So let’s rewind a little bit. 

By the beginning of 2017, I had overcome a sin I had since childhood. For decades I thought I would never give it up because it was always a part of my life. I had always tried to control my urges within myself. I prayed over it. I tried to give it up. My flesh fought hard, and it won. 

It wasn’t until I started making the choice, instead of fighting it, I would turn to Jesus instead, and things started to change.

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Go to scripture. Listen to worship music. Turn away from anything that would increase temptation. I wanted my focus to be on God, not the potential of sin, and not the temptation. This is why I wrote the two posts on understanding and overcoming temptation.

Post | When Temptation Breaks You | Why We Are Weak

Post | Overcoming Temptation | When Temptation Breaks You

It’s such a simple choice, but often hard to do. We try to do everything. We try to stop ourselves. We live in the moment and fight in the moment. God taught me to LIVE with Him every moment. To seek Him daily in His word.

It was only then after I sought Him on a much deeper and personal level; through the hours and minutes of every day, that He helped me overcome this sin. He helped me identify what would trigger temptation, and therefore what to stay away from. He helped me understand the truth of scripture.

I felt so liberated and free from something I thought I couldn’t give up (and only through Christ I could).

Then…the thoughts came. 

And I was devastated. 

The attack was perfect.

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Even though I had broken free, there were still other doors I had opened, things I was exposing myself to daily…and these allowed openings for vulnerability in my mind. 

This is why I said an individual may not be sinning with the obsessive thoughts (in themselves) but that person may be sinning in other ways. 

Because I certainly was. 

Some people struggle with how hard I crack down on media (songs, shows, movies, books, podcasts, and YouTube). THIS IS WHY! 

I had cut out nudity in shows I watched. But let’s see… I still was exposed to (in the media I watched and listened to) cursing, taking God’s name in vain, love of supernatural, love of sin, love of false gods (lore), idols, death/murder, violence, gore, horror, and yes…sexual talk (jokes especially).

Saying this, about myself, it was so foolish of me to think…the “war” on the flesh was over. It never is. It’s a daily battle. But the more of the flesh I was/am exposed to, the harder it is to deny the flesh. Christian, this is the real and blunt truth. 

Near the end of 2018, I started giving up YouTubers who focused on all of the elements I listed because ... Post | Hell Was A Wake-Up Call

It was hard to give up YouTubers I loved watching because they were creative, smart, and funny. But once I cut those ties, the same day, I knew I had to give up a lot of other shows, movies, and books, too because they shared the same focus on wickedness and sin.

I was free in many ways. God had broken a lot of chains around me. But I still struggled with my thoughts…and I felt so helpless that I was fallen because of those thoughts. 

It was almost five months afterward that I completely felt free…and aware of the lies I was believing. 

I wanted you to know my past before you know my present, and therefore, I’m cutting off this post (and because it is pretty long already). I’ll continue the rest of the story next time and talk about the medicine…no one really talks about. 🙂

(Pt.2) I Thought I Blasphemed The Holy Spirit

Recommended Resources: 

Comment Below:
Have you struggled with these thoughts as a Christian?

Monthly Scripture: (NIV) Isaiah 40:31, “But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

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44 thoughts on “I Thought I Blasphemed The Holy Spirit | Obsessive & Intrusive Thoughts

  1. This fear all stated for me in 2020 when i read about this sin in the bible. i was having intrusive thoughts and so much anxiety and hurt. i did everything i should’ve and read the word despite panic attacks and all. the Lord told me that He would take care of me but it was like i didn’t believe Him. fast forward 2023 i had a big encounter with the Lord. i still had these thoughts all the years but they were less i wanted to seek God and know Him but so much anxiety and despair. i think after sometime i let some of the thoughts be there because it was like i had a cloud in my mind but i still felt horrible and rebuked them. even on accident said the words out loud i feel deep in my heart i want Jesus and know Him but my mind is so messed up now. i feel so down. i want my relationship with God back i want to be alive i feel so down. and constantly tormented. even feeling i want to die. i’m constantly recommitting my life to God and Accepting Christ. i don’t know what do do anymore. i still watch christian videos and try to read the Bible but i’m just so tired. mentally too


    1. Naomi, I want you to check out this post it’s the post i recommend at the beginning of this one. It breaks down the scripture much farther.

      You’ve shared what you’re doing, so some of these suggestion may not all apply. These are things to consider 🙂 that may be helpful. It’s important to look at how often are you praying, reading the Bible on a daily basis. Regarding Bible reading, is it random? Are you reading through a book of the Bible before moving onto another? How often do you jot down notes as you process what scripture is saying? What kind of media are you exposing yourself to? Violence, sexual immortality, cursing, negativity. 1 Peter talks about the devil walking around like a lion ready to devour. We are told then to be vigilant and sober-minded. Which means when we are not guarding ourselves we become that much more vulnerable and when we are weak we either are clinging to Christ or trying to fix the solution ourselves. And when we try to be in control it never works out.

      That may not be your situation, but I know for me I was doing so many things when the horrible thoughts came, but I wasn’t taking measures of my daily life. Meaning I kinda waited UNTIL the horrible thoughts came to act and do stuff to fight against the thoughts. But it’s like we go out to war without wearing armor and a shield. Check out this post if you want to understand a breakdown of how we are to wear the armor of God – it’s pretty cool.

      This truly is a battle and it’s hard. Be honest and think about any unrepented sin. Bitterness or anger toward someone. Envy. Jealousy. Desire for revenage. Be willing to pray for forgiveness. I catch myself get prideful throughout the day. I never used to realize how much I sinned and I believe my pride got in the way. It was the perfect anchor for the enemy. I wasn’t being sober-minded. I was not asking for forgiveness when I was sinned. I was not being watchful of what I exposed myself to on a daily basis that encouraged negativity thinking, sin, and wrong thoughts about God.

      When going through the mental batte turn and cling to TRUTH. So you have negative thoughts, repeat to yourself what is TRUE about Christ. Read scripture. Psalms are great. Gospels are wonderful. I recommend looking at the list in 2 Peter 1:05 and what fruitful faith looks like. When we lack faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly love, and love scripture says we are shortsighted even to the point of blindness and we FORGET that we were cleansed from our sins. It hinders us having the mind of Christ and living like Jesus. All of these are opportunities to praise God, seek forgiveness from sin, ask for help in weakness, and continue to walk forward, step by step. Turn to worship music. I highly recommend songs that point to the character of God. Helping us and reminding us of His truth. We cannot break the bondage of sin but Christ can.

      Reality is we only need to commit our life to Christ once. Scripture says faith in Christ’s death and resurrection through the grace given to us. Faith and grace that’s it. I have a set of questions regarding the Gospel you might want to consider to think about. How well do you know Christ? It might help encourage you to dive into what you aren’t as familiar with and help equip you for battle. I recommend the song When Trials Come by Kristen Getty. I also recommend watching the movie Pilgrim’s Progress that has Kristen Getty in it. Check it out here –

      Sin points us to despair that leads to death and it sounds like what you are struggling with is despair. From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you might possibly be caught in legalism and all of the THINGS you feel you have to do to have the right walk with Christ. There is a proper way to follow Jesus, but first and foremost it must begin with you simply acknowledging you cannot save yourself as a sinner. Only Christ living the perfect and righteous life. When He went on the cross, He took our sins upon HImself and those who put their faith in Him through the grace shown on the cross receive salvation. Our sins are forgiven and God looks at us as righteous – but it’s the righteousness of Christ because He atoned for our sins. He paid off our debt. From there, out of love for Him we want to become more like Christ. Scripture promises that we have hope in Christ. He does things supernaturally DESPITE the pain and trial. He can use this trial to help point you to Him. The mind battles can last for a while, it isn’t always instant. But there are ways to help control, at least, how media affects you. The people you’re around, the activities you are part of. All of those things can influence us. I recommend checking out the videos I’ve shared in the post, if you haven’t already. The one by Pastor Tim Conway was what first ministered to me. If you would like to email me you can at or my Instagram is noblewriter77 just send a message and let me know it’s you. 🙂


      1. Thank you so much for your reply. I’m just scared sometimes to let go and let God do what He wants through me. I sometimes feel as well too that Holy Spirit has been grieved maybe bc i have been trying in my own strength for so long and failed. but i truly will seek after Jesus more bc without Him i’m nothing truly. I just don’t want to have a cold heart or anything. I want to love Him again and serve Him and have protection and peace with myself too.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I understand the battle, not in your shoes, but the back and forth of submitting to Christ and holding onto myself and my own selfish desires. A positive from a situation like this is that we see how truly weak we are and how much we need Jesus.

        I recommend looking up some sermons by Charles Spurgeon. Did you know he suffered from depression? I find it encouraging when we can listen to fellow believers who understand suffering, and they have turned to Christ through it. The Lord has helped them even though it’s painful.

        If you have the free app Libby. You might be able to listen to Joni Erickson’s auto biography. I found it really helpful. She also has a youtube, instagram and Facebook page. Short videos but she often discusses suffering and it’s been helpful to widen my perspective on the truth of Christ, instead of what my pain wants me to think.

        I also recommend listening to R.C. Sproul, and Paul Washer. If you need a push for conviction, check out Paul Washer. Find solid sisters in Christ to confess your struggle with. Being lonely in the fight just gives ammo to the enemy. Again, feel free to reach out through my email or Instagram 😊

        Tape scripture and place it in places you often go. Bathroom. Bedroom. Kitchen sink. I’ve been making notecards to help me memorize scripture. You want a sword? The word of God divides through eveyrthing in us. Surround yourself in it. 🌷 do not starve yourself in prayer and scripture. Sing praises. Remind yourself of His goodness.

        Seek Christ out, no matter how you feel and no matter what your mind says. Be honest with the Lord. Keep asking for help in prayer. Keep praising Him.

        Don’t give up. Don’t look at the situation as if it’s this massive mountain. Rather look at the next second, the next moment. Breathe and walk in truth. Keep going!!!


  2. Hey thank you so much for praying for me! I have yet another question. I was thinking or merely a thought popped into my head that The Lord says foul things. And it also says so in the Bible a bad word that the Lord said and I believed it sorta but not in the sinful type of way like the righteous judgement type of way. Still it feels wrong to say that The Lord can have foul words coming out of his mouth. Is this blasphemy. I’m just scared to blaspheme against the Holy Spirit and even though you tell me that If I care I probably haven’t blasphemed but the fear and overthinking just seems to overpower somehow and I have something new to worry about every day about this sin. To say and believe that foul words can come out of the Lords mouth but even though not the in the sinful way still feels off. I know he does it for righteous judgment but if seemed to forgot to mention that part when I was thinking and the situation made it seem like I believe that foul words came out of the Lords mouth. Idk if that was blasphemy? I feel like I could list my worries on and on throughout the years of struggling with this and it hurts it should not be this bad. I feel like I could have done something to stop it like maybe read the Bible. Thank you for taking the time to read and reply to my comments I really appreciate it you don’t understand how much it has helped me.


    1. I want to let you know that you are not boring me. 🙂 I understand how scary these thoughts can be. What you need to start doing is pray through the fear and ask the Lord to breakdown these lies. We know God is holy so He would never do anything that is sinful. Sometimes older translations of the Bible use words that we might view as curse words today, but the context isn’t being used the manner of someone using fowl language.

      You keep having thoughts and worry trouble you, and it’s true, that we struggle against flesh and Spirit. But God says in His word to be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

      Do not let your worry determine truth – Matt 6:34 and Matt 6:25 . Worry does not do anythin good for us. Pray. Seek repentance. Stop thinking every time you sin it’s the blasphemous sin because if that was the truth Christ’s sacrifice on the cross was weak. Jesus can take your sin! Repent. Understand that we struggle with sin on a daily basis. Repent and praise Him for convicting you and trust Him in truth of Christ.

      Philippians 4:6 says be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer, and petition with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

      Proverbs 3:6 in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall make your paths straight.

      Matt 6:27 who by worrying can add a single hour to his life.

      You do not save yourself by being sinless because no one is sinless. You are saved through Jesus’ atonment on the cross, Him taking the wrath of God in your place, and dying and resurrecting in 3 days. He conquered the bondage to sin, not you.

      Being fixated on everything you have to do only leads to legalism and condemnation through the enemy. I, too, struggled with this when I thought I blasphemed. I was putting trust in my salvation in my works, not what Jesus did. Repent. Trust Him. Pray throughout the day. Study scripture daily. Know what scripture says to fight against your thoughts and worries that not based on truth but emotion.

      I’m grateful my responses have been helpful. But my responses won’t be enough. You will need to put your faith in Christ. You will need to pray through the fear and worry. Seek Him and ask for forgiveness for your fear and worry, He promises to forgive! Ask for strength, direction, guidance through His His Holy word.

      Some resources I recommend:

      Got Questions – seriously, Ellen, they answer so many questions and cover so many topics, it’s great! Helped me a lot.

      Pastor Tim Conway – He answers a lot of questions people send in. I’ve shared some of his videos before on the blog, including the one on blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.

      May this encourage you

      Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edgded sword, piercing to the divsion of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughtd and intentions of the heart.

      I would ask yourself how well do you know Jesus Christ? I found when I knew just the basics of the Gospel and Christ – but not much else, this affected a lot of my legalism. The more I learned about Christ, the more I realized how I need Him and I was relying on my own works to save me

      Praying for you 💗🌻🌷 Christ can conquer what you cannot!!!


  3. Wow thank you I really appreciate you! Idk I feel like I’m boring you at this point but I said in my mind that foul words comes from the Lords mouth but not the way I think because I read a bad word in the Bible. I mean He can but not in a sinful way. Is it wrong because I truly feel sad that I even said it and believed it for even one second. I know prayer is powerful but sometimes if my prayers would have been answered I would not say anything or believe anything like this at all. I wouldn’t be in this situation wich I would happily avoid. I’ve been through this a lot. I’ve reached out to many people. And if I had one person I could list all my concerns about this sin it would continue day after day and week after week the list would continue on and on.


  4. Hey I have a question again.
    I just feel like I need to also somebody. When I was reading out loud in class I had this feeling of anxiety that was so overwhelming and like a noise that just got louder and louder in the form of anxiety about committing the sin. Ikr if I did but maybe I said something against The Holy Spirit. It was like a form of manipulation of committing the sin while focusing on something else. I didn’t know what to do so I went silent for a few seconds and started reading again. This feeling of not feeling more to ask for forgiveness and no turning back has been haunting me. And I asked God to give me signs of I did the commit the sin and multiple times the signs showed up. Idk what to do. I feel so empty. I love the Lord but sometimes I feel so empty when it comes to committing the sin like I actually could and it’s scaring me and when I realise and actually think about the Holy Spirit it feels like I’ve committed the sin. Idk what’s happening. I need someone to tell me it’s gonna be alright but to also give me the truth.


    1. Ellen, I know these times are not easy and can be very scary. But there is hope in Christ. You want the truth so I’m going to give it. It seems like you are struggling with a lot of emotions dictating what you believe is truth. Experiences and emotions do not trump scripture. Signs and symbols, trying to interpret the Lord outside of scripture, is not what God tells us to do. In fact, scripture warns us NOT to do these things because seeking after signs is tied to the occult. Using mysterious means to obtain some insight or knowledge of God. Repent and read scripture for God’s word alone equips you, look up 2 Timothy 3:16-17. Also, Hebrews 4:12, God’s word can cut through these doubts, fears, and confusion.

      You might be working yourself out over things because your emotions are not in check. You need self-control, which is only found through the Holy Spirit, as He points you to the teachings of Jesus Christ found in scripture.

      Tell your emotions to shut up – is what a sister in Christ once told me out of love, and I’m telling you the same. Do not give your emotions a foothold. Do not give in to believing emotions that are fickle and are tossed to and fro. Seek forgiveness. Read scripture. Pray. Glorify the Lord in song and repeat.

      I don’t know if you have read the link I recommended. But as I break down in my post those who truly blaspheme the Holy Spirit do not care and NEVER care whether or not they committed a sin. The fact you care shows this is not the case.

      But what you need to do is find your refuge in Christ. You have options to fight back. Do not let your emotions allow you to stop praying, stop reading scripture, stop praising His name. Even if you do not feel like doing something out of fear, praise the Lord anyway. Thank Him. He is stronger than Satan. He is stronger than our sin, that is why Jesus Christ atoned for us on the cross.

      It is probably still going to hurt for a while, unless the Lord wills to take the pain away, and He can. But I promise you no matter how bad we feel HE is stronger. HE can use this situation for His glory. You need to put your trust in Him and be sober-minded. Be active. Turn to Him throughout the day. Again, do not let your emotions tell you what you think is the truth. Trust God’s word, for HE and not our emotions, is truth.

      Examine your life. Are you listening to negative talk, gossip, curse worse, sexual content, watching ghost stories, darkness, wickedness, horror, etc? You might need to cut off things you are watching and listening to because these things can make us more vulnerable. If something is sinful, do not watch or listen to it.

      I say this out of concern because I once struggled badly during nights. It also was during the time I thought I blasphemed the Holy Spirit. But I learned I needed to trust Him, not myself, not my feelings, not my experiences. There were things I had to cut out. If you listen to people or shows who take God’s name in vain, you might want to consider to stop watching those things. Demons can deceive with feelings and experiences. We can get in our own head, as well. So be active about what you can do. If you struggle praying out loud, pray in your mind.

      No matter how many times you struggle, you pick yourself up through putting faith in Jesus Christ. The enemy cannot hold you down because Christ has broken the bondage to sin. Read scripture. Read scripture correctly. Begin a book and read the whole way through. Keep reading. Find some scriptures to meditate on and remind yourself of what God’s word says when your emotions and thoughts get intense. Pray. Pray. Pray.

      Jesus conquers.

      Some resources you might want to check out:

      Should We Use Our Emotions As Truth? | What Is Emotionalism?

      How To Mediate On God’s Word (The Right Way) & Why It’s Important

      I will be praying and continue to pray for you. ❤


      1. I appreciate you reaching out and sharing your concern. I know that can’t be easy. I hope what I said is encouraging overall, though I know some of it might be hard to hear. The reality is you are not alone. If you have truly put your faith in Christ, the Holy Spirit dwells within you. I have some posts on the Gospel, if you would like to learn more. (Everyone needs the Gospel. Not just the unbeliever but even mature believers need the Gospel every moment of every day.) This trial you are going through can be used by the Lord to show you how to turn to Him through prayer and reading His living and breathing words. Scripture is the sword of the Spirit. I’ll be praying. I was actually praying for you today before I saw your comment. I’m glad you reached out. 🌷😊


    1. I absolutely will be praying for you!!! I hope you are encouraged and strengthened! I know obessive thoughts can be so hard to deal with and anxiety. But there are active things we can do. Worship music, scripture, prayer, cutting off outlets that encourage sin, etc. You are not alone! You don’t have to feel like you have to fight this battle alone. May the Lord Jesus and His truth that is sharper than a two-edged sword strengthen you, convict you, and encourage you!


  5. Hey I’m sadly struggling myself too but I have a question. Sometimes when these thoughts don’t prosper anymore in the end I can hear Satan whispering ok so you know the truth about The Holy Spirit, but what keeps you from blaspheming the Holy Spirit? Then I feel this type of anxiety that’s so overwhelming and I don’t know what to do. This time I broke and said The Holy Spirits name in a sentence with blasphemous words instead of saying something blasphemous directly to the Holy Spirit because I never could possibly say something against the Holy Sprit but in my eyes it’s all the same. I did it just to get rid of anxiety of possibly saying something against the Holy Spirit which I know I never could with everything I know about the Holy Spirit in mind?! I can’t believe it ? How could I?! So my question to you is do you think I blasphemed against the Holy Spirit? It’s so overwhelming and I’m embarrassed. I’m so blinded by these thoughts and feelings 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ellen, I’m so sorry you have been struggling. I want to recommend a few things.

      First – Jesus is key. You need to make sure you understand the Gospel because the Gospel is not a surface topic. The Gospel is not about, “Oh, I know this already.” No, the Gospel is something we need every single moment. We put our hope, our faith, in Jesus and we need to know why. He will forgive us. Those who truly blaspheme do not care (see the post I share below). You need to be meditating on scripture, the truth of God.

      If you struggle with negativity, then you need to be speaking truth (scripture) against your feelings and thoughts, no matter how you feel. Jesus has power. HE is the Author and Finisher of our faith. If you want to get rid of anxiety – you need to be praising Him and praying. Don’t let darkness feed on you speaking sinful things. You need Him to intervene because doing things on our own isn’t enough.

      I’m going to recommend a few links to check out that hopefully are helpful. The good news is Christ is enough, and there are things you can actively do to fight back. It can be painful and hard. But the goal isn’t- I’m going to banish this negative thinking, it’s God can help me! I need the Lord! Take it moment by moment. Every time you struggle mentally and sin – REPENT. Pray. Seek forgiveness. God is gracious and merciful. Christ broke the bondage sin puts us in. We do not have to be helpless.



      Scripture is sharper than a two-edged sword. If you are exposing yourself to media, books, etc, that focuses on sin (sexual jokes, disrespecting others, disrespecting God,, cursing, etc) , negativity, taking God’s name in vain, or more – cut it out of your life.

      Obsessive thinking can be encouraged through what we are exposing ourselves to. I then suggest redirecting your focus throughout the day to Christ, to scripture, to mediating on scripture, fellowshipping with believers who will encourage you of God’s truth.

      I recommend listening to R. C. Sproul, Justin Peters, Chris Rosebrough, Paul Washer, listen to sermons. I have a massive list of resources you can check out:

      – Here are videos I recommend checking out –

      -And here are people I recommend checking out –

      Second- check out this post on the breakdown of what blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is

      There’s more to blasphemy than just thoughts. Again, this battle does not have to be just you fighting. Our goal is going to Lord, even if we are afraid and trembling! He will show us grace and mercy through Jesus because He promises. Those who truly blaspheme are not afraid, they don’t care. Go to Him. Repent. Surround yourself with His truth. Cut off what leads you to sin or make you think about sin.


  6. Wow! I feel like I was reading about my life! This was so well written and a great explanation of things. I’ve really had to cling to the scriptures about controlling our thoughts and learning as they fly through my mind to keep them or release them.

    One thing I heard within the last year was that anxiety is not reality and that changed everything for me. I relate to this post so much had to comment even though it doesn’t make much sense. ha But I understood everything even strictly cutting out TV, music, and the simplest things. Jesus said If your hand causes you to sin cut it off and there’s a reason.

    This was such a great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so grateful you connected, and so sorry you can relate. I know how difficult those thoughts are. I actually finished up a series on my second blog about anxiety, I did a study on it. And I realized anxiety is the opposite of the peace of God, and the peace of God is all about the assurance we have in Jesus Christ. It just makes so much sense!

      That quote you heard last year is so true, and very helpful/encouraging. Anxiety is not reality ❤ YES! Thanks for sharing that!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Great post. I, like many others, have had the same issue. I have watched/heard/read something that would stay with me for days. My grandmother’s voice ringing in my ears about how the things we read/watch stay with us. She is right.

    When the internet really took off and became a household item I remember being exposed to many things that I never experiences before. I can recall clearly the first time I ever seen a person who was seriously burned in a DUI accident (she wasn’t the one who was drunk), who was coincidentally, the same woman who had recently died. The image of her burned body really impacted me and stays to me to this day. I’m ashamed to say it scared me. It wasn’t her fault that she was hurt so badly, but I had never been exposed to that type of thing before. Now I am no scared by her appearance because I am more mature, but as a child, it was shocking.

    I am so desensitized now to the “darker” aspects of life due to the internet and television. Some for good, like the burn victim. It is good to be desensitized to that stuff, in my opinion, because we shouldn’t be scared of people who are sick/hurt, if you know what I mean. However, not everything is for the good.

    I have a question for you. What is your opinion on real life tragedies? As you are well aware, I write a lot about abuse. Not only that, I read a lot about abuse to make sense of my own. Some stories of abuse I have read/watched on TV are especially horrific and have made a negative impact on me. There is a part of me that feels that it would be best to stay away from certain stories that are graphic in nature to maintain “purer” thoughts. On the other hand, I feel it is good to learn about these things, though difficult, in a way to honor the victims and their struggle. To keep the fighting spirit to survive alive for those who have passed and to celebrate the strength and courage for those who have made it to the other side. Also to help educate the public on abuse in efforts to prevent it from happening. What would be your interpretation of discussing/reading about these difficult topics when it comes to one’s spirituality? There is a fine line to walk and some guidance is always helpful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I see what you mean about burn victims or injuries. I suppose the issue is the environment you become desensitized. If it is a show, I am way more guarded against because of the material also added like drama, cursing, taking God’s name in vain, etc. If it is because people are training as a nurse or in the health field that’s completely different. It is not artificial. It is not for entertainment purposes.

      In my opinion, and people differ, in regarding sharing absuse I think it is easy to be both discreet and share a story. People do not need to know all details to know what sexual abuse is. People do not need to know all details to know what physical abuse is. Our world is wicked and perverted (not only in a sexual sense, but all senses). People thrive on details that do not affect them.

      Unfortunately, we live in a world where one’s experience can easily become ideas for another. There is a way to describe feelings without specific details of experience. If we said people constantly cursed at us we do not necessarily need to share all the ways they cursed at us. Adults know.

      Guarded explanations allow more people to hear, including those who may be triggered otherwise. Wicked acts do not get the spotlight, rather, the indvdual. A person could share they were led to cut themselves and leave it at. But share more openly about their feelings and thoughts. It is also a slap in the face to darkness to show how God helps us overcome. It is not about speific details but an overall story. And hopefully one of leaving the past behind and overcoming.

      When looking at these experiences we are told to speak in love. We are told to be pure. As an author we hold the pen and we have the control to protect our audience and be accountable to that audience. When someone is abused they do not have control, though they may seek it in other ways. Writers hold the control in their piece and I hope knowing this gives comfort.

      I know some people may be upset that this is a form of watering down things, but wouldn’t it be wonderful as we are told in scripture to overcome evil with good.

      The world we live in, sure, they want everything. They want to relive hard experiences. It may be beneficial to the indivdual and it should, but our world thrives on entertainement a lot. People become involved with horror for entertainement purposes. It’s troubling. Again, I know many have different views, but this is where I’ve come from so far. I hope my explaination is helpful ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for your thorough explanation on your stance pertaining to the subject. I agree with you on many points, especially being that we live in the world where entertainment is put above nearly all else — including the truth.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. When it comes to media there are a couple questions I consider, “Does this increase my love for God and others? Is this entertainment encouraging me to consider truth?”

    I enjoy story telling in it’s various forms (movies and music especially) and I’ll watch/listen to things that aren’t squeaky clean, but I have my boundaries in place for the things that affect me negatively.

    In all this God forgives and redeems us as we slowly mature.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I used to think it was okay if everything was not always clean, but scripture is clear on what we are to stay away from, even if it is watered down and seems harmless.

      I don’t desire to slowly mature because the things I am doing hold myself back and I say this of love, not judgement or condemnation. And God has shown me if the scripture is clear on what is of God and what isn’t, why am I not focused on the truth wholeheartedly? Why do I still choose things that may remind me of why the world is wrong, but I’m not going to the real Source? Anything that is lukewarm we are told God will spit out and I can’t justify myself partaking in something lukewarm for this reason.

      It was a battle with my flesh but I want to serve the Lord and others the best I can. Scripture says to get away from all evil, no matter how the world paints it. I’m not perfect by no means. But how can God forgive something I never sought forgiveness for and never repented of. By no means do I believe works save us, no. We are saved in Christ, but we are told we will be judged for every work both in the light and secret. This is why I share what I do because I’m accountable to this truth and I can’t water it down for others. I hope my response is helpful and not stumbling. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Everyone lives by their convictions. In media, like film or music, lots of things may appear clean but are totally ungodly. I despise the cartoon ‘Arthur’ because the kids are bratty and disrespectful to their parents. Sure there isn’t graphic sex or nudity in it but it portrays sinful behavior. In a fallen world we’ll never avoid sinful acts, we just have to filter out what leads us into sin.

        1 Corinthians 5:10-11
        But I did not mean the people of this world. You would have to leave the world to get away from all the people who sin sexually, or who are greedy and cheat each other, or who worship idols. 11 I meant you must not associate with people who claim to be believers but continue to live in sin. Don’t even eat with a brother or sister who sins sexually, is greedy, worships idols, abuses others with insults, gets drunk, or cheats people.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Now, I totally see what you mean about “wholesome” shows may not be and when we are aware absolutely turn away! And for the same reason if we are watching something that is sinful, we should turn away. Why expose our eyes and ears to sin?

        I think of the rich man wanting to follow Christ. He was told to follow the commandments and did so. But he could not give up his possessions, which is an attachment to the flesh. And I think our entertainment especially people cling to desperately in this world. I know I certainly have. I love good story telling but I’ve seen how I’ve had to give up well written shows because the gifts given were not to glorify God, but man.

        We live in a sinful world, you are so right! But we are to be the difference and that’s because we are to be Christlike. And I have to admit to myself if what I am watching or listening to is not something Christ would, I have to turn away and seek forgiveness, repent of it by giving it up. If I am doing something Christ wouldn’t do, I need to seek forgiveness and actively work on repentence by seeking Him and His ways.

        I wanted to add time is so short on this earth, we are told life is but a mist. I believe through giving up what we expose ourselves to, what we choose to partake in, that helps diminish potential sin. We are told to be holy because God is holy and I believe only through Christ we can achieve this. Absolutely, sin happens, but like you mentioned boudaries help, cutting out all evil helps. It helps be a brighter light to others who are sinners because we are not partaking of the same things. Anyways, thanks so much for the thoughtful discussion!!

        Liked by 2 people

      3. It’s a good discussion to have. It’s easier for me to support someone who abstains totally from media because it is laced with messages contrary to Christ and it wastes time.

        Would Jesus watch TV? I don’t know, probably not…but then again Jesus might surprise you.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. We’ve all been there, T.R. whether we admit it to others or God, we’ve all been down that road. Throughout 2018, I’ve been cleaning house and I still am. Every day, I examine my heart and habits. The Youtubers who used to bring me joy does not anymore and I’ve unsubscribed from them. I’ve started to write a post similar to this one so I’ll save my thoughts for it given that I might overwrite here, but thanks for this post. May God continue to guide you as you allow the Holy Spirit to work in you. 💙

    Liked by 3 people

    1. A lot of Christians go through this ypu are so sweet. For me, it wasn’t giving up what wasn’t giving me joy, but rather things I very much enjoyed but they were not focused on Christ. It is really true, we watch something and be like does this push me to Christ? It is as simple as that but hard to admit because our flesh is attached. I’m so thankful for broken chains, my flesh may have fought at first, but it didn’t win forever. Jesus does. 🙂 We only need to submit and surrender.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s what I meant by ‘joy’. I would be sitting watching a video and laughing and then I’ll sit and think ‘Does this YouTuber even glorfiy Christ with his/her speech and attitude? What can I gain from watching this?’ I realize that I was also wasting time with such videos when I could’ve been doing something else that would glorify Christ instead of wasting my ‘joy’ with such.

        Amen, T.R.! 💙I’ve never felt such freedom after I allow God to have His way.

        Liked by 2 people

  10. Thank you for sharing this! Truly is a daily battle, but God is gracious in His love and mercy! I too use to have obsessive thoughts and urges but like you said when we submit our troubles before the Lord daily and guard our hearts and minds…The Holy spirit will empowers us to overcome!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Oh my goodness, this is almost exactly what I’m currently going through. I’ve made some mistakes by watching some things I know I shouldn’t have. I’m over it now, but I still feel so guilty for doing it. Any tips? And also, do you think it’s necessary to tell other people?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m going to talk about this in the next post, but yes confession is huge! I had looked up numerous articles. And I was aware that based on everything I read I wasn’t, but mentally the battle was strong. We are told to confess with our mouth, and I highly recommend you speak with a fellow Christian you trust. A peer is wonderful, and an elder (someone older) can be great too, especailly if they are mature in their walk with Christ. It’s powerful. It stops making us feel helpless when we have others openly praying over us and with us. There is a sermon I’m going to share that really helped me. I believe his name is Tim Conway but it is on this topic if you want to look it up. Truthfully, it was a combo of things and scripture reading as well. But it was only after, too, I had detached from a lot of negative images/words as well, I was able to get that far. I’m going to get more extensive into these things next week but I hope this helps. What I found powerful in scripture was that what my mind “confessed” is not actually what my mouth confessed. Our mouths confess what is in our heart and I love Jesus and I was proclaiming His truth because I believe it even if my mind had invasive thoughts.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. ❤ I didn't know why, but at the time I was so fearful, guilty, and ashamed of even admitting to others I had these thoughts and when God gave me the opportunity and pushed me to share, He broke down a major door. I know why now, our enemy will lie to us. He will use our vulnerabilities. He will twist scripture. He will use anything against us and if we are not rooted in Christ, it is very hard to see all the deception around us. But through Christ there is hope, confidence, strength, and authority. And the more we cling to Him instead of trusting our thoughts, the weaker our flesh becomes because we are not feeding it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The devil wants to get us isolated so he can defeat us, just as assuredly as a predator in the wild tries to isolate his prey before coming in for the kill. God wants us to know that we are not alone. He is with us, and He gives us brothers and sisters in Christ who can pray with and for us. We all need each others’ prayers.

        Liked by 2 people

  12. Great post, T.R! I, too, struggle with obsessive thoughts. And while being on medication helps… doesn’t cure. But I know God is with me and He will never leave me. Thanks for posting this!

    Liked by 1 person

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