Cancer is a scary word.
It brings the dread of devastation in many forms. It invites fear and worries upon the delivery of the news. Before anything else happens. Before anything else is done. It can make you feel crippled.
And this is from the perspective of hearing that a family member has cancer.
Around Easter, I received news about a family member finding out they had cancer. There were assurances it was caught early enough. But the full realization of everything took some time to soak in.
In a way, I can say now I’m grateful for the realizations God gave me. Life is short. Scripture says our life is a flower that fades. (1 Peter 1:24, Job 14:01-02) I’ve been reminded of how I use my time.
I fought against fears. The day before the surgery happened to be a Bible Study night. I studied outside on the balcony. The reading for the night was the beginning of Job, and the negative thoughts were, “He had things and people taken from him. Maybe it’s a sign this is going to happen to you.”
My hiding place is in God, not my mind!
I watched the sky and spent time with Him. Looking at the trees move in the wind. Seeing the painted sunset across the clouds. His power was all around me. My thoughts I strived to lay at His feet every single time they emerged.
The morning of the surgery I made sure to get up early because I wanted to pray before the surgery and during the surgery. I am aware my works have nothing to do on whether or not the Lord will answer prayer. There is no bargaining with the Lord, you can’t use prayer to bargain to get what you want.
But prayer is important.
(NIV) Psalm 102:01, “A prayer of an afflicted person who has grown weak and pours out a lament before the LORD. Hear my prayer, LORD; let my cry for help come to You.”
I sought prayer on here, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. I reached out to my sisters in Christ and other prayer warriors. I came to find out there were many prayer chains in total.
(NIV) Matthew 7:07, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
The day was only supposed to be rainy and cloudy. There were so many moments of God showing me His assurance. I felt Him in prayer, in worship, in the scripture I read. At one point, I sat by the door to the balcony. Since it had been raining, I couldn’t sit outside. But I had the door slightly ajar and again was reminded of His strength.
The air was scented in rain, and the wind was gently blowing through. There was a moment in which the rain had stopped, and briefly, for a few minutes, I saw this beautiful sunshine.
We weren’t supposed to get any sun. But at that moment, when the sunlight came through, I felt so loved and heard. I was reminded that even in rain God is still a Light. He is still our warmth. I took a picture because I didn’t want to forget, and immediately after I took the picture, the sun went away and the rain came again.
I remember desiring answers as I waited, and yet, thankful I took time to spend with Him. Thankful I felt Him every second that went by. I had never spent that kind of time (duration) with the Lord before, but I knew it was powerful. I now believe this is the intimacy He wants us to have with Him daily.
There was a moment of quiet, a stillness, and I received a message that the surgery was a complete success and everything was okay. As soon as I saw the message, and as relief filled my heart, RAIN DOWNPOURED! I felt like that was God saying, “See, everything is in MY hands.” Just like it was with Job.
Radiation therapy will start after the individual is healed.
Continued prayers are greatly welcomed.
The Shame Of Being Comfortable
But this..isn’t the end of what I want to encourage you with.
I’m not proud of this, but it was like as soon as my prayer was answered there were certain things I struggled with that day, and the following days. Judgement of others lay heavy in my thoughts. It was a battle to stop each one and lay it at His feet. I had watched a video that encouraged gossip, judgment, negativity, etc. I stopped it, but it was one of those things where I was like, “You should have known better, what were you thinking?” There were a few other incidences like this.
And truthfully, I should have.
I don’t know if some of these events were related to spiritual warfare because it was like as soon as I felt so close and connected to God it was cut so quickly. I felt isolated and distanced. I think truthfully, I was embarrassed to the Lord that it had happened so quickly. I was embarrassed and slightly ashamed to admit the convictions I was receiving in relation to accountability.
It was almost like…sin mocked holiness…and I see it so clearly now.
I was prepared for one event, not for the battle for myself. I am reminded so deeply to stay accountable at all times. To be guarded. To be aware.
The precious Lord used this for His glory, and He rebuked me, I felt it. It was hard. But this was for His glory and my good. The Lord rebukes those He loves (Proverbs 3:12).
I wanted to share this because I want you to be encouraged to see what prayer does. To see what time with the Lord does, and to see what can potentially happen when we turn away from anything of the Lord.
There is a real enemy out there and he is prowling like a lion to steal, kill, and destroy. It could be our hope, thoughts, or even our relationship with Christ.
Monthly Scripture: (NIV) Isaiah 40:31, “But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Community Prayer Requests | May– Join us in requesting prayer, praying for each other and lifting each other up.
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