I’m Working On My Mind… And It’s Hard

Judgment.

Assumptions.

Emotional attachment which tags along. 

There is a book a sister in Christ and I joke about, one we are planning to read. “It’s Not About Me,” by Max Lucado. We will say the title to each other when one of us admits our selfish struggles. It’s so easy for us to get caught up in our feelings and thoughts, especially when we don’t have all the answers.

At least…for me.

There has been a lot I’ve given up to the Lord from the end of last year to now, which I’m grateful for. It’s become more than apparent all of the previous things I was exposing myself to made me blind and numb to how it affected my thinking. Spiritual warfare, as fellow blogger Efua noted in her post, will turn us away from God and focus on ourselves, our problems and our feelings about it.

Boy, do I fit that category…I can’t run from admitting it. 

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Ever since I shared the posts about gossip (see: I Thought It Was Okay… I Was Wrong About What I Said) God has been showing me how to really focus on my thoughts. To listen to what my emotions are saying and rebuke myself for what is not Christlike. To catch myself immediately when I see something and have a judgemental thought.

(NIV) 2 Corinthians 13:05, “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you–unless, of course, you fail the test?”

It’s hard. 

I struggle because it’s hard admitting all of these selfish and judgemental thoughts.

No validity in these thoughts or it is not Christlike period. I don’t like admitting this because I see how much He has helped me grow, but truthfully, I have so much more I need to grow in. I don’t always let go of the thoughts and repent…and that’s where I get into trouble. 

We may not act on our thoughts, but entertaining them can be deadly.

Validation is something I struggle with. Again, another fellow blogger, Sue, talked about this, we struggle to fill in what we don’t know.

When people are silent, when I think I did something wrong, or think someone doesn’t like me, my mind goes a thousand miles an hour. I try to fill in every blank I can. Connect dots that are not there. I get upset because I don’t know what the issue is, and recently, God CONVICTED me heavily of…well, maybe it isn’t about me, thus my sister in Christ making the joke.

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Desiring a form of control (through understanding) and not getting any is difficult. Was it something I did? Or did someone decide they do not like me anymore, why? Putting my selfishness to paper is cringey because, you know, it’s really not about me. 

And…then come the feelings and thoughts of woe is me. I desire greatly for people to understand my side, and what I’m going through…and God is like, “Stop it! I UNDERSTAND YOUR SIDE! YOU need to understand everyone else. Quit focusing on yourself. Focus on Me and what My Son would do.” 

Humility is kinda like the book which, when ate, was both sweet and sour. It was sweet to the mouth but sour in the stomach. Only humility is the reverse. At first, the conviction that brings humility can feel sour, but the fruit which later blossoms is sweet.

(NIV) Galatians 5:17, “For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.”

I don’t think it is a coincidence the past few posts I’ve been catching up on reading have discussed issues with assumptions and selfish thinking. If I didn’t get the memo before, God Himself handed it to me.

When I realized the reality of what was ACTUALLY going on versus what I THOUGHT & FELT…it certainly was bitter to take in. 

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I was guilty in front of the Lord, not anyone else. Me. Only me. I could have had a better heart and attitude toward others if I wasn’t so focused on myself. I could have loved others better. Regardless of the situation or what I thought. The Lord knew the truth, and that’s all I needed to turn to, but instead, I filled in what I didn’t know. I did not give it to God. And I was wrong. 

Nothing had anything to do with me. Even though I was praying against the thoughts, my inward heart’s reaction…definitely sided more with my own emotions instead of how Christ wants me to love.

Another blogger, Shae, touched on this in a post I recently read.

She talked about how she struggles to fathom the vastness of the Lord. I agreed with her, but especially after this realization. I fall so short in many ways. Yet, He loves me, and He is willing to forgive me, and help love others the way HE desires! He’s provided a way even through my falling. Like eagle’s wings, He’s caught me before I hit the ground.  

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Immense hope showered my shoulders knowing this. Despite my shortcomings, I see how the Lord used this for His glory, and for others. He showed me how I can love others better in uncertainty. It’s why I wanted to share this with you today. 

So many whispers that were lying to me, yet, God exposed them all with the truth. It made me realize how my eyes truly need to be turned to Him, not myself. It’s a battle I will continue to work on. But my heart has been made more open. 

I want eyes like Christ who sees the crowd and is moved with compassion. I want to be there in the silence. I want to have a positive heart when I am unsure. I want to rely on the truth of God NOT my mind or my feelings.

(NIV) 2 Peter 1:07-08, “And to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

(NIV) Colossians 1:10-12, “So that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.”


Comment Below:
Do you struggle with assumptions in the silence or judgemental thinking? How has God directed your thoughts to His truth?

Monthly Scripture – (NKJ) Isaiah 54:17, “No weapon formed against you shall prosper and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me,” says the Lord. 

Join us in requesting prayer, praying for each other and lifting each other up. 

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24 thoughts on “I’m Working On My Mind… And It’s Hard

  1. T.R. – Thank you! I like that children’s song that says, “He’s still working on me to make me what I ought to be. It took him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the Sun and the Earth, and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient he must be. He’s still working on me.”

    I believe the important part in all of this is that we be aware of when we fall short, and that we listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, and that we don’t yield to the flesh. Yes!! It is spiritual warfare, for sure, and I am well personally acquainted with that, especially when I am following the Lord in an area where Satan doesn’t want me to go, and so he is on the all out attack to put thoughts in my mind I don’t want there, and so I have to fight them off with the armor of God and put on the right thoughts and attitudes, etc.

    And, it is a daily battle sometimes. But, Jesus already won this battle for us. But, I do understand your battle, for I have been there before, as well, and I could easily go there at any time if I don’t listen to the Spirit’s voice and if I let my flesh get the best of me. We all could, because we still live in flesh bodies. But, all this is to make us stronger in our faith and in our determination to follow the Lord Jesus and to not let the devil get a foothold in our lives.

    Thank you for your transparency and your honesty. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Amen, Sue!!! Attacks will go against us at any moment, and I continue to learn how to call them out. I’m thankful for His grace, patience and mercy.

      Just last night when I started being aware of thoughts I imagined placing my hand against my chest, as if pulling out the negative thought, and then releasing my hand as it goes to His feet. It is His, not mine. I don’t want it. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I also find that utilizing a physical action can help me to battle my sinful tendencies. Sometimes, when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I simply clutch my Bible against my chest. I am just so glad to have free access to His Word — God’s revelation of Himself!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I like that, T.R. Whatever works. As long as it is in accord with the Word of God or not against it. Whatever ways God gives us to use our armor against the enemy of our souls, if it works, definitely use it.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow. I just finished reading 2 Corinthians and the thoughts behind this post are almost an echo of my own personal reflections on weaknesses lately. Though I didn’t publish it on my blog, I wrote about my newfound understanding (concerning pride, weakness, failure, the glory of God, etc…) to some students I’m working with.
    Reading through 2 Corinthians was so helpful in renewing my heart and mind. God’s Word is absolutely beautiful, isn’t it?!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amen!!!! It is amazing how the Lord will show us the lessons He is giving us through others, scripture, and our life experiences! I’m so glad you related and this spoke to you. ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I am extreme overthinker and I worry about everything although I like to think that I have gotten better about “letting go and letting God,” as I wrote about this in my book. I have seen God give signs in the midst of struggles. I am a believer in numerology and symbolism as God’s way of connecting with others. I have seen an immense increase as I become more tuned in and I am grateful for these moments. God created the universe and has given so many ways to connect with Him! However, I must admit I still struggle with emotions but I think emoions ​can be positively applied for pr​oactive change! Blessings! Xoxox

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Emotions were not meant to be all bad, God certainly uses them for His good. 🙂 But our flesh will struggle to make our emotions focus on us, and that’s usually the problem, even good ones can be used selfishly, I’ve certainly struggled with it.

      It is amazing how the Lord can connect to us in so many ways!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. All of this is real.com! I really like this you said – “We may not act on our thoughts, but entertaining them can be deadly.” Entertaining wrong thoughts causes our vision to become blurred and it blinks is from seeing the grey areas.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Amen. I needed to read this and I’m glad God made do so. This is also a big battle for me as well. Judgemental thoughts. My gosh. It truly is very hard. I continue to seek the Father about it as he uproot them with His truth as the Holy Spirit always tells me it’s not about me. It’s about Him, Jesus Christ. Blessings & peace to you.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. *guilty* **sighs** Assumptions have done a great job messing up things in my life because I think I know what someone else thinks, believes, feels or wants. So I’ll make this egregious judgement call about them with the belief that I’m right. And when I find out that I’m not, I feel quite foolish. Assumptions lead to judgements. Which can lead to going off the rails to destruction. Until we talk with someone and see what’s really going on, we don’t have all the facts.

    Liked by 1 person

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