“That’s Trashy!” – Sorry, I Don’t Live In A Catalog

“That’s trashy,” a comment I saw regarding how one wife believes countertops should be spotless. They shouldn’t have anything on them. That’s what other cabinet space is for. And you absolutely can have spotless countertops if your heart so desires. 

Of course, it’s okay to have an opinion, not like she was talking to me directly, anyway. Yet, I very much took the comment personally.

I was indirectly told by a stranger I’m trashy. A stranger who isn’t even aware I read her comment, no less.

There’s a lot of lessons in this. (Editor Mode: ….wow, I didn’t even know how God was going to convict me writing this. Notice how the first point, though not directed toward the woman…still is inspired by what I was offended by? There’s a theme.) 

1. We should be careful with our words because we don’t know how others will take it. We are not promised people are going to like what we have to say. We need to be aware as a Christian, especially, how are we with our words? Are we building others up or knocking them down…all because of how we would like things done?

Heads up…#2 gets a little too real for me. But I think sharing my concerns and my struggles can be helpful to someone else, so I’m leaving them. I’m imperfect and this just shows everyone is a work in progress. Praise God that those who have sought Him and repented, the Comforter abides in us! He will work on us see yesterday’s post.

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2. I can’t be so focused on what others think – I’m not a spotless cleaner. Never have been. I’m realistic. I live here and I can’t clean in such a way that pleases everyone else…except my husband and myself.

I’ve had people pick out corners of my home and I see the judgment of, “it’s too cluttered.” Doesn’t matter if it’s organized, and there is plenty of space. But because I have more than one to three things on it…it’s too cluttered. It’s a mess. Well, then, please go out and buy me shelves right now I can’t afford. Don’t mock my make-shifted cardboard boxes I’ve used to make shelves.

I think, “You should have seen this place when I lived in a townhouse, more space to work to with.” Our apartment is about half of the size of it, maybe more than half. People see what they want to see. They don’t always ask our story or remember that things aren’t pristine in our life.

Things that I’ve done to make “shelves” or organize better, I get so excited about, and people’s opinions have crushed that excitement because it is not up to par with what they want. I’ve allowed people to steal my joy. 

And the thing is, I am all for downsizing and donating. That’s why I love learning about organizing. But it becomes difficult when all it feels like is people look down on you because a table isn’t completely clear only 75%.

I have a cozy home…I live here. I feel like I have to apologize for not looking like I live here. 

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3. What Does God Think

As a Christian blogger, I would prefer God being first…but I want to be real about this. For me, I struggle with what people think, then what I think…and then… you guessed it, I go to God.

You know, God matters the most in all of this, yes, even with cleaning and organizing a home. I can’t tell you the amount of freedom I found when God put on my heart cleaning the home is a way to honor Him and my husband. It’s a way of submission and something I can give. Something I’m really grateful for.

Cleaning is something I’ve always struggled with, and throughout the years I continue to get better and more organized. I’m grateful, but I can say it’s only because of God.

See, I’m not doing this for my family or friends…or complete strangers to judge me and give me their opinion of how my home should look. In fact, my husband often rebukes me because I get down on not being the “perfect” housewife. It’s clean. It’s organized. It’s to his liking. It’s not trashy. Messy sometimes, but I clean up well.  I didn’t marry the person judging me and giving me their opinion. I wasn’t born in a catalog and I was not raised to make a home look like no one used it.

But I was taught to respect others, and I’m always grateful for tips from fellow wives who share what works for them. Not in a judging way or condemning way. Just out of love.

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My advice to you. 

If you are a wife or even someone who just struggles to not have your home or your room up to par with the rest of the world, that’s okay. What isn’t okay is letting our fear stop us from getting things done. It is not okay for us to not appreciate that God has allowed us the opportunity to have a home, a room, a roof, clothes, and comfort.

Above all, that has helped me the most in desiring to clean and be organized more. I don’t care for cleaning itself, but I am grateful for what I’ve been given. I want to show my love for God and my husband in a tangible way. One way of being grateful is cleaning and organizing, and when you’re able to donate to help others.

Some wives struggle with cooking, some with cleaning. We always have something we can improve on, and we need to make sure we do it FOR THE RIGHT REASONS! Not because we’re trying to please people who really do not care for us at the end of the day.

Ponder Below:
Have you ever struggled with comparing yourself to others?

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19 thoughts on ““That’s Trashy!” – Sorry, I Don’t Live In A Catalog

  1. This reminds me of another post I read recently! You may enjoy it. 😊 https://thecornershelf.com/2019/07/27/keeper-of-the-books-why-mundane-work-matters/ When we remember WHY it is that we clean and organize, it changes how we do it and what our standards are. Different people will have different opinions about what “clean” is; we need to make sure we are encouraging people to clean for the sake of people and not for the sake of the house. I loved how you brought out that there are different tastes; we won’t be able to please everyone, and we can’t try to please everyone. We also need to remember that our preferences are not canon Scripture, and if something is a preference and not a command, we’ve gotta learn to joyfully differ. God loves variety, and I have a feeling He has a purpose for homes where all objects are put away and where there are some objects stored in plain sight. He definitely has a purpose for your home and all it’s cardboard-box glory, haha! Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing all this!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. ❤ it was a little hard to write and definitely convicting. But it helped me later open up to a friend about my concerns and she was surprised to hear I was so worried over opinions. I'm grateful for the talk and how everything needs to be directed at Christ. Loved what you saod about perference and what is canon in scripture. Never thought about it before but that is so freeing!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you for sharing this with us, girlie ❤ Comparison has been one of my biggest struggles for a long time! It doesn’t matter what we do have – if we’re comparing ourselves to others, then what we have isn’t enough. I thought for a while when it came to cleaning and organizing my room that I had too much, or too little … my mindset depended on whether I was comparing myself to people with less than I have, or to people who have more than I do. I’ve gone back and forth in feeling like I have too much decor/stuff, or too little, but what’s important for me to remember, like you shared in this post, is WHY I clean and organize my room. 🙂 When I have it decorated and organized in a way that makes me happy right now, then I know I’m doing the right thing for me!

    I can’t even imagine vocalizing opposing feelings about someone else’s housekeeping. How we each individually keep our homes is something we each decide on – how much (or how little) decor looks nice, what we want out (and what we want stored away) – it’s all opinion! If I ever share organization or cleaning tips with another homemaker, it would be out of my desire to help them enjoy their home and living space to the fullest, not so that their home would look like mine. For example, my mom and I have different ways we like displaying our things. In my room, I like having a moderate amount of things out (and then everything else on display in my closet, like I showed in that post recently!), whereas my mom only likes to have the essentials in view. Keeping house is all about what keeps YOU comfortable. 💕

    Goodness, this comment was long 😂 I enjoyed reading this post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, love the discussion as always!!!

      My friend just brought up a point to me in how conparison can be good…only in regards to Christ such as comparing my thoughts on comparing myself to other women and then comparing what that looks like in scripture. I have some ways to go! But found comfort in this. It’s all about redirecting our eyes.

      I agree! If we all looked and acted the same it would be pretty boring! We all have different skills and personalities. How that comes out in organzing shows.

      Some people are very vocal and confident in their views, doesn’t make it right. But God continues to prick my spirit and work on humility. I have to love beyond my sensitivity because that’s a me issue…and it’s tough, admittedly.

      I love what you did with the closet!!!! And I love your mom’s posts on routine ans houselife.

      I suppose at some point I’d like to be aware of if having the coffee maker out on the counter really is going to stumble someone up, then I could put it away when they visit or whatever. I’m certainly not there yet. But I’m grateful for the chance to share how I desire to look at Christ and what He wants. For my husband, for others and then myself ❤ Thanks for the encouragement, Maggie!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Very true! If comparison is allowed into our hearts in a constructive, spiritual way, then it can certainly teach us and help us to grow. 🙂

        Yes! I love the differences in decorating and organizing. I think it’s neat how many different styles there are, and how individuals can use color in interior design to get completely different finishes! (i.e. One color, depending on the contrast, hue, and other aspects of the room, can make a bold statement, have a calming effect, and more)

        That’s something He’s working on in me, too – I desire for my beliefs and views on things in my life to be so unshakeable that others’ opinion doesn’t negatively affect me. I may be able to learn from others’ insight as well, but there’s a time for that.

        Aw thank you! 🙂

        That’s true. People definitely have preferences like that, although you also have to think about if it’s something that you’re fine to deal with every time they come over to visit. Chances are, if they are offended by something like that, they could find other things to dislike, as well. It’s a struggle 😟 you’re welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Color is amazing!!!

        That’s true about people being nitpicky, and of course for me that’s really stumbling right now. I’d love to get to the point I can laugh it off and just point to Christ. My friends may share opinions when they visit sometimes but oooh man if it was that bad every time. I’d certainly would struggle with criticism. I’m grateful my friends like how my apartmenr is organized, clean, and decorated. My one friend shared how she knew my struggles with cleaning when I was a teen and compared to how I am now, two different people! I’ve improved so much and so grateful God has helped me and continues to 🙂 ❤

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  3. Sounds like they have a bit of a Martha mindset… 🤔 I sometimes compare myself when I take a photo and it picks up some of the messiness of my house, but I’ve been homeless before, so that feeling goes away REAL quick 😂

    I’m just immensely thankful for what I have, and I spend every Monday doing the chores that need to be done. But of course, it’s far from perfect and that’s okay!

    Wonderful post 🙂 I love how you mentioned that you always go to God! That’s great!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The Martha mindset is a perfect way to describe it. I think it’s hard not be line Martha sometimes and I’m grateful Jesus showed Martha in love what matters. I certainly need that reminder too.

      I can always grow more and I’m glad that God gives me the opportunity to share with others. ❤ He needs to be the center and I'm working on seeking Him more.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh yes I have a lot! And of course I took it to God in prayer for I needed to let go of it! He’s working on me and I can see the little results of it day by day. I’m getting better. I’m growing stronger. I remembered as teen I never used to like washing wares, cleaning and cooking. I never did it. Only when I felt like it. But these were areas I had to work on drastically and now I cook, clean and wash wares! You won’t believe but I actually did a fast concerning this and God has helped me tremendously! Don’t live to please people, live to please God. Don’t study what they think about you, it’s about what He think and says about you. You’ll get there. Everything takes time. 🙂 Let no one rush the process that God is taking His precious time to do in your life for His glory. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, I totally believe you about fasting! It’s powerful and I’m glad God has helped you!! I’m a lot better than where I used to be and I’m grateful for the journey and the progress. God is ever gentle and patient. A wonderful Teacher ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve come to reconcile myself to our “lived-in look.” I love a nice, clean space, but… I’m a studier. And I like to write about what I study. In both instances, I spread. As I type these words, I have a journal, planner, a Bible in English, a Bible in Hebrew, a Hebrew lexicon (because I’m not fluent), pens, a ruler, my ever-present water bottle, and my checkbook within arm’s reach. And I’ve used them all within the last couple of hours (except the Hebrew Bible – that’s there so I don’t forget to do today’s work). That’s just my space. Don’t get me started on the boxes of stuff we’re trying to sell for the girls, the book that still don’t have shelf space, etc. We can’t all be Better Homes and Gardens people. It’s OK.

    Liked by 1 person

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