“That’s trashy,” a comment I saw regarding how one wife believes countertops should be spotless. They shouldn’t have anything on them. That’s what other cabinet space is for. And you absolutely can have spotless countertops if your heart so desires.
Of course, it’s okay to have an opinion, not like she was talking to me directly, anyway. Yet, I very much took the comment personally.
I was indirectly told by a stranger I’m trashy. A stranger who isn’t even aware I read her comment, no less.
There’s a lot of lessons in this. (Editor Mode: ….wow, I didn’t even know how God was going to convict me writing this. Notice how the first point, though not directed toward the woman…still is inspired by what I was offended by? There’s a theme.)
1. We should be careful with our words because we don’t know how others will take it. We are not promised people are going to like what we have to say. We need to be aware as a Christian, especially, how are we with our words? Are we building others up or knocking them down…all because of how we would like things done?
Heads up…#2 gets a little too real for me. But I think sharing my concerns and my struggles can be helpful to someone else, so I’m leaving them. I’m imperfect and this just shows everyone is a work in progress. Praise God that those who have sought Him and repented, the Comforter abides in us! He will work on us see yesterday’s post.
2. I can’t be so focused on what others think – I’m not a spotless cleaner. Never have been. I’m realistic. I live here and I can’t clean in such a way that pleases everyone else…except my husband and myself.
I’ve had people pick out corners of my home and I see the judgment of, “it’s too cluttered.” Doesn’t matter if it’s organized, and there is plenty of space. But because I have more than one to three things on it…it’s too cluttered. It’s a mess. Well, then, please go out and buy me shelves right now I can’t afford. Don’t mock my make-shifted cardboard boxes I’ve used to make shelves.
I think, “You should have seen this place when I lived in a townhouse, more space to work to with.” Our apartment is about half of the size of it, maybe more than half. People see what they want to see. They don’t always ask our story or remember that things aren’t pristine in our life.
Things that I’ve done to make “shelves” or organize better, I get so excited about, and people’s opinions have crushed that excitement because it is not up to par with what they want. I’ve allowed people to steal my joy.
And the thing is, I am all for downsizing and donating. That’s why I love learning about organizing. But it becomes difficult when all it feels like is people look down on you because a table isn’t completely clear only 75%.
I have a cozy home…I live here. I feel like I have to apologize for not looking like I live here.
3. What Does God Think
As a Christian blogger, I would prefer God being first…but I want to be real about this. For me, I struggle with what people think, then what I think…and then… you guessed it, I go to God.
You know, God matters the most in all of this, yes, even with cleaning and organizing a home. I can’t tell you the amount of freedom I found when God put on my heart cleaning the home is a way to honor Him and my husband. It’s a way of submission and something I can give. Something I’m really grateful for.
Cleaning is something I’ve always struggled with, and throughout the years I continue to get better and more organized. I’m grateful, but I can say it’s only because of God.
See, I’m not doing this for my family or friends…or complete strangers to judge me and give me their opinion of how my home should look. In fact, my husband often rebukes me because I get down on not being the “perfect” housewife. It’s clean. It’s organized. It’s to his liking. It’s not trashy. Messy sometimes, but I clean up well. I didn’t marry the person judging me and giving me their opinion. I wasn’t born in a catalog and I was not raised to make a home look like no one used it.
But I was taught to respect others, and I’m always grateful for tips from fellow wives who share what works for them. Not in a judging way or condemning way. Just out of love.
My advice to you.
If you are a wife or even someone who just struggles to not have your home or your room up to par with the rest of the world, that’s okay. What isn’t okay is letting our fear stop us from getting things done. It is not okay for us to not appreciate that God has allowed us the opportunity to have a home, a room, a roof, clothes, and comfort.
Above all, that has helped me the most in desiring to clean and be organized more. I don’t care for cleaning itself, but I am grateful for what I’ve been given. I want to show my love for God and my husband in a tangible way. One way of being grateful is cleaning and organizing, and when you’re able to donate to help others.
Some wives struggle with cooking, some with cleaning. We always have something we can improve on, and we need to make sure we do it FOR THE RIGHT REASONS! Not because we’re trying to please people who really do not care for us at the end of the day. ❤
Have you ever struggled with comparing yourself to others?
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