“Am I being used, Lord? Am I reflecting Your light? Am I doing what You want me to say and do?”
Last weekend I shared a book review on one of the books about Rachel Scott. She was the first victim to be killed at Columbine, April 20th, 1999. Her journals shared her prayers, thoughts, and the walk she had with Christ. It was empowering and inspiring to read. It made me wonder, “How am I reflecting Christ to others?”
Throughout the following days, as I went through her book, I wondered over and over about what kind of impact was I making on others, especially with this blog.
God answered me in two different ways, only I didn’t realize it at first.
It didn’t take long for God to answer my prayer about the blog. I recently received a notification about a blogger who talked about me in a blog post. Of course, I was nervous because with the content I often talk about, I understand it’s hard to hear. I understand how some people very much disagree with me. Naturally, I tried to get my guard up in case it was about that. Shame that negativity is one of the first things I expect.
But it wasn’t.
No, this blogger often is a silent reader of mine, which surprised me all the more.
Seeking Answers In Prayer
Recently, I asked God to help me not focus on feedback. I cherish comments, but the blog isn’t about comments, likes, or followers. It’s about sharing His truth and giving Jesus glory.
I hoped that God would encourage me in contentment with the fact that people who silently read my posts could very well take something from the blog, whether I knew or not.
Well, the blogger did talk about how my blog was impactful. The blogger mentioned things that I strive for and desire to share on my blog. A lot of the things I was wondering about, God answered through this blogger.
An overwhelming assurance washed over me that I was walking and talking where I needed to through this answered prayer. I still have a ways to go and things to work on. But I’m so glad that Jesus took the time to verify those things to me through someone else.
But the Lord didn’t stop there. Though He used others to speak to me, He was already in the works of using me to speak to others. Not on the blog, but in more personal ways.
Should I Or Shouldn’t I?
Remember, I said God answered me in two different ways.
Fairly recently, I had a discussion with someone who felt they couldn’t “sense” God much in their life. Then all of a sudden these connections appeared in my thoughts, “Hey, didn’t you just say you felt this on your heart?” Or, “This same topic keeps coming up in your life?” The more we talked, the more the person saw how God was DEFINITELY active and seeking that person’s attention.
The Holy Spirit is amazing and incredible. He listens to our prayers in the temple (our heart, secret place). He may not always immediately answer the prayers that would make our flesh feel secure, but I’ve noticed, a lot of the smaller things He will answer more quickly. We just have to ask Him AND continue to seek Him daily and consistently.
If we wonder about something we need to do or hold back on, God will answer.
Recently, there was a situation in which something was pressed on my heart about someone, and I didn’t have any validation of whether or not I should say something.
In fact, what was pressed on my heart was not pleasant to hear, and I didn’t know how the person would take it. At one point, I had decided, “No, I will NEVER tell this person about this!” Only to fully open up a few hours later because God kept pressing the matter. God used what was pressed on my heart in a very powerful way. Lo and behold, this same individual received the same kind of message from another person a little later.
God knows what He is doing. He will speak to us. He will use others to speak to us. We need to be faithful and listen. Don’t be afraid to ask Him questions that make you uncertain. We are told to approach Him boldly. Talk to the King. Ask the Savior for help. Seek the Comforter.
Even if we feel He is distant, that doesn’t mean anything. Sometimes, all He wants is for us to step forward.
Has God ever used someone to speak to you?
Monthly Scripture – (NIV) 1 Peter 4:18, “And, “If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?”
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Second Blog: Peeking Beneath