At the beginning of summer, I shared a post in which I talked about how at night I will sometimes “see” shadows, objects, etc. It often would keep me up at night because I struggled to go to sleep.
In writing the post, I knew there was a potential for people to question these odd and strange occurrences. Truthfully, though, everyone was very caring and considerate. Which I am extremely grateful for.
There is comfort in knowing that people read problems like this and want to help with solutions even if they themselves have never experienced anything like that before. We all want to be encouraging, and we want the individual to experience the best outcome if possible.
As I shared, I have had issues with sleeping since I was born. I wake up many times throughout the night. The creepy thoughts intensified when I had started cutting out a lot of things in my life, while the hallucinations had dwindled. I shared that turning to God has always been the answer.
Since writing the post, I’ve continued to cut out certain things in my life. I’ve thrown away items that I do not believe give glory to God.
The Wooden Dolls In The Bedroom
In the bedroom, I had a few of these little painted wooden dolls. Very beautiful. The issue I was finding with them was that each doll was supposed to represent something for the owner. There was even this little inscription on the box of each little doll and what she was supposed to be.
I originally thought I could keep the inscriptions as a way to focus on this is what God represents. As a writer, I liked how the inscriptions were worded. But the more I spent time with God, the more my spirit kept getting pricked about these dolls. Even though they were decorations. Even though, I’m sure most people don’t take them that seriously. In the back of my mind, I knew they were made and given to people to each represent a symbol.
They literally were little carved, painted, images. They held the potential of an old fashioned idol because they were “promised” to bring happiness, hope, whatever to the person who had the doll.
We live in a materialistic world, and we like our cute things. Darkness does not always take the shape of something evil. It could come in the form of something extremely “cute.” That’s how deception works.
Originally, I didn’t want to get rid of the dolls because of money. I considered donating them and just felt that was wrong, too. If anything goes against God, it’s going in the trash. No one else needs that temptation or darkness. It was then just bringing myself to get rid of them.
That right there is a problem. Whenever we have an attachment to worldly things, and we find ourselves making excuses as to why we can have this movie in our home or image, or whatever…that SAYS SOMETHING! That’s the war the flesh is having against the spirit.
One night, I was worshipping God (at home) and in that moment I felt the strength from being in His presence and giving Him glory, I would chuck those dolls into the trash can. This is all about Him, and I don’t want any attachment in this world that does not bring Him glory.
Since getting rid of those items, I’ve thrown away a book on dream symbolism, a book on fairies (lore, legends, cultures, whatever), I’ve thrown out most of my romantic comedy DVDs (PG-13, language, sexual stuff, God’s name being taken in vain), and some other things.
The thoughts still happen occasionally but the hallucinations continue to dwindle. Also, I feel more peace at night in sleeping.
Getting Rid Of Things & Sin Is A Threat
I shared in the previous post that the hallucinations started in 2012. I was vulnerable from my recent depression, there was A LOT of darkness I was allowing in my life through media. No joke. I was very intrigued by videos on the supernatural. Even though I gave up a lot of it during my depression, which clearly helped, I still found loopholes that I thought were “safer.”
There were sins in my life as well that were just anchors for darkness.
But then between 2017 to 2018 when I started really desiring to draw even closer to Christ and knowing there were things in my life just holding me down from Him, I think when I cut those ties, darkness had to find something else to fight me with.
There was a battle I had with my thoughts earlier this year. I used to think that I blasphemed against the Holy Spirit. THAT WAS THIS YEAR I WAS FREED!
When did these thoughts start? After I cut ties with major sin that held me down for decades.
When we cut something out of our life for good because of Jesus Christ and through Jesus Christ, that’s a threat to our enemy.
Darkness, Satan, will use any loopholes we are allowing in our life for sin. Denying this, making excuses because we do not feel convicted, etc, gives way for these anchors and chains to rule over us.
I still have some night issues but by no means is it the same as it was toward the beginning of this year. Truthfully, I believe a lot of these issues are spiritual and they were spiritual in more ways than I realized. However, our Savior, Redeemer, Comforter, all of these things don’t phase Him one bit. HE IS STRONG ENOUGH TO CARRY US! HE CAN DESTROY AND BREAK THE HOLD CHAINS HAVE ON US!
Could any of these things be related to medical or biological reasons, absolutely! I still have a struggle working on a routine for the day and night, and routines are so wonderful for the body.
What I experienced for someone else it may not be spiritual. But what I can encourage you with is that if you have struggles in the night, any vulnerabilities, or bitterness, anger, etc. There is so much we can give to the Lord that we aren’t aware of. Be it physically or spiritually.
It is often the times we become guarded saying, “I don’t have to do that. I want to keep this,” that our heart, spirit, mind, and body have things that DO need to be turned over to God.
I’ve been encouraged through the Lord that fear in the night, for me, often is a time to praise Jesus. To the enemy, I appear threatening because HE RESIDES WITHIN ME! He has conquered sin, and He is the Conqueror.
So even when I’m afraid, in Christ, I rest under His wing. The Shepherd sleeps inside the gate opening so that no wolves can come to me. His strength washes over my weakness. I am cloaked by the King.
And that’s powerful!
Have you noticed a change when you’ve given up things for the Lord?
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