You Can Use Time In A Way Others Cannot | Single Christian Girl

When I was a teen, I was deceived in believing I “needed” a boyfriend. I remember praying out to God, crying out sometimes, for someone, a boyfriend, to be provided to me so that I would feel “understood.”

Let me tell you, even after I had a boyfriend, no one understood me better than Jesus Christ.

Even when I was dating there was still that emptiness that my boyfriend could not fulfill. The same is in marriage. Hollywood has given us this lie that we “need” to be understood and connected on a deep level IN ALL WAYS with this spouse. Now, do not get me wrong, we do need to have strong communication. Marriage requires that we understand our spouse. (Understand, this is not purely the husband focusing on the wife. Wives need to focus on their husbands in this way, too. This is not a take, take, take relationship.) 

Something God was teaching me since I was about 13 years old is that there is a level within me no man, no mortal, can reach except the Savior. There is a level of understanding, comfort, wisdom, and yes, an intimacy that no one will ever get from us aside from the Lord.

In fact, it is RESERVED for Him because He is the only One who can enter our temple. Only Jesus can dive into the farthest parts of our soul. Only our Savior, our Refiner, can take the darkest thoughts and parts of us and make them clean.

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All of these actions should be treasured. This intimacy with the Lord should be valued. God fulfills us more than any man can. As a wife, we NEED this in order to submit to our husbands and support them the way we need. As a single Christian woman or girl, we NEED this for our Groom. (See Post: Dear Single Christian Girl, You’re Already Someone’s Bride)

You read that right, Groom, not groom.

Married or not, we all need to desire, care for, strengthen, and treasure our intimacy with God. In fact, those of you who are single are very precious in His sight because you have the opportunity to have eyes only for Him. 

You have an opportunity to be selfish with the Lord in a way a married woman cannot be.

What do I mean by “selfish”? Well, it’s all about you and Him. You desire Him so much that’s all you want and care about. You have more time for worship, prayer, devotions, and fellowship than those in a relationship. 

As a Christian, if we truly believe in what we claim, then we need to step forward with the truth that God shall supply all of our needs. I know many women struggle with “when” they will get a boyfriend or husband. This time you have right now, let it NOT be a time of bitterness, but sweet joy.

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Relationships can be a blessing, absolutely, but they come with their own sorrows and hurt. When my husband spent a year in Korea because of the military, I was by myself in the home. But it was God who supplied everything I need. A circle of Christian sisters to be around. Fellowship to feed my soul. Countless hours throughout each day I spent with the Lord, that if my husband was home, I wouldn’t have spent. Again, relationships are a blessing, but yes, they will take your time away from the Lord. 

It was a rough time, but those times with the Lord were ALWAYS joyful. He carried me in ways no one else could. He provided in ways no one else knew. I grew a lot in Him and I needed that time to grow. I think some wives regress in their walk with Christ because the time that went to Jesus is so easily tempted to go elsewhere to someone or something else. 

Do not let the lie that, “If I had this marriage or family, I would be happy. If only this…” People cannot fill in our spirit what the Holy Spirit can fill. We, as mortals, do not have that power.

But Jesus does! HE IS YOUR STRENGTH SISTER! HE IS YOUR GROOM!

He loves you! Now, not later!

Spend time with Him, encourage others to spend time with Him. Be an example to those who haven’t spent time with Him. May you shine so bright in His light people desire Him!

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25 thoughts on “You Can Use Time In A Way Others Cannot | Single Christian Girl

  1. Singleness seems to be viewed by a lot of people, including Christians, as bad. Usually Genesis 2:18 is interpreted to mean that being single = not good, when in fact Adam was the only human being alive at the time, and it might more speak against total isolation rather than “staying single is bad!” Interpreting the lack of relationships as “being alone” is also odd, in that if a person is going to work on a regular basis you thus have co-workers that you associate with, you should have contact with people through witnessing/sharing the gospel, have family members [including parents, brothers, sisters, etc], and have folks to associate with at Church. It seems like the whole “alone” thing is all in the person’s head, unless they actually do live totally by themselves and do not venture out much. I’d go so far as to say that “singleness” [i.e. lack of relationships/marriage] and being alone are two different things, and it seems like people [Christian or otherwise] equate the two in their thinking. You’ll hear somebody who wants a relationship say, “I don’t want to be alone!” It kind of produces the question, “if one has such people in their life, why’re they lonely?”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a good point! Being single and being alone are two different things. Fellowship is very much needed in a Christian walk and we are encouraged to spend time growing with our brothers and sisters.

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  2. I’ve done some internet searches on the subject, digging around on different secular websites. Sometimes a person choosing to remain single is confronted with the charge of, “don’t you get lonely?” Their response is somewhat similar to mine, with that list of people one might associate with. I’m glad you mentioned that it gives a person more time for worship, prayer, and devotion. Actually. singleness comes with a lot of freedom. For instance, as an author and some one into blogging I have more time to write without the distractions of a family, wife, or girlfriend. I can come and go virtually as I please, accept jobs out of state perhaps [hypothetical scenario], be friends with whomever I want within reason, and so on. I can have cats [I love cats, and would sooner tell a would-be girlfriend to “take a hike” rather than give up my cats]. These of course are just a few examples, and one might even list things viewed as apparently “selfish” in Christian circles, such as if you bought something tasty recently to enjoy over the weekend somebody else doesn’t eat it first.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It does come with freedoms as when we are in a relationship there is a need for compromise, and sometimes giving up those things are needed.

      Even being single, the Lord may provide an opportunity in which we might need to give up one of those freedoms for Him. You’re right, we never know where He may lead us.

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  3. I’m a guy, so I guess I’m not really the target audience for this post. Yay for commenting out of place! Still I’m not sure I grasp this concept of Jesus fulfilling us as it relates to Marriage. Some clarification might be needed as to the intended meaning, because as other Christians have used it it honestly comes off as an attempt to remove desires people might have for marriage/relationships, or even an attack on those desires, which I honestly believe are natural and probably pre-programmed into us by God in view of Genesis 2:24 which basically shows how Marriage is God’s plan for mankind. [My logic is that if its God’s plan, than this would undoubtedly be the source of the person’s desire.] I also believe that people have a choice as to whether or not they’re getting married without any risk of being penalized by God for making a decision either for or against, and that Genesis 2:24 shouldn’t be read as saying “Christians HAVE TO get married!!” There is an author out there running around saying that Christians have a duty to get married, which appears to be a reaction to people using the “fulfilled” language you’ve employed to discourage folks in the Church from getting married. Not that you were seeking to imply that, just that some folks out there havve some wrong ideas.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. When I speak about fulfillment from Christ in my post, I encourage both those who are single and those who are married to find fulfillment in Him. I’m not against marriage 🙂 So far I haven’t had people misunderstand that, but yeah, if I see a need arise from it I’ll definitely keep this in mind. Either way, a more full post on what fulfillment in Christ is would be beneficial for sure, so thanks for the inspiration.

      In scripture, we have Paul encouraging men, and I assume women, too, not to marry if possible. There are no sins discussed that if one is not married it is an issue. What is an issue is being sexually immoral, people seeking ways of pleasure meant for a husband and wife.

      Being fulfilled, as I touch on in the post, can’t come from other mortals. We can be married, but not fulfilled. We can be single and not fulfilled. We need Jesus. He is the headship of all. Jesus knows us intimately.

      It is only through Christ all things are possible. Jesus surpasses all understanding and knowledge. Where we have limits, as do other humans, Christ does not. Where humans will let us down, Jesus will not..

      The goal is not marriage. The goal is not to “feel” fulfilled by our accomplishments. The goal is Jesus and His glory. If we are married, He is our main focus. Through submission to Jesus husbands and wives learn to submit to each other. If we are single, Jesus is our main focus. Submission to Jesus teaches us how to be a servant to others. To love and show compassion the way He would.

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  4. This is right on! I love when you say that as a single person we also have a Groom in God because this is something not many realize and it’s important to place focus on that. We do have time to focus more on our relationship with God then married people and then we get to know Gods perfect will for us as we draw ever closer to Him. Thank you for your post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes!!!!! The Church has a Groom and therefore anyone who is in Christ also has a Groom! So important and precious we understand all that He has done for His Bride, us. Married people can absolutely get close to Christ but there is something so special about a single woman or man living their life with and for the Lord.

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  5. I feel out of place commenting, considering that I’m a guy and you’ve written this post for the “single Christian girl.” But I thought I might leave my two cents anyway. I attempted to comment a couple of other times, but I’m uncertain if they went through or not. I’m glad that you’ve brought to people’s attention the fact that being single provides one with more time for worship, devotion, fellowship and prayer. Actually, if one were to remain single they might find that there is a lot of freedom there. Freedom to pursue ministries that require a lot of focus, spend as much time engrossed in Biblical studies and prayer [or even the study of Christian Apologetics] as one wants, freedom from future bad experiences in relationships [if you’re single, you’re not getting your heart broken, being cheated on, or being abused], freedom from the inconveniences of married life [having to put up with some one’s unpleasant habits], freedom from the discomfort often experienced over whether or not somebody or anybody likes you [if you’ve decided not to marry, why would you care?] The list could probably go on and on. I don’t mind stating that I’ve decided never to marry, and that liberty is sweet.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! Not everyone is meant to marry, and God will always have a plan and purpose.

      Yeah, the series is aimed at girls or women, but I think a lot of the lessons can definitely apply to boys and men. Thanks for sharing!

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  6. You captured this topic perfectly and debunked a lot of myths about marriage so that people who eventually get married have their eyes wide open.

    Liked by 1 person

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