When my mind wanders
as it had before.
When the whispers linger
right at my heart’s door.
When the floor felt like
it would fall beneath me.
When my world shattered
You were there for me.
You stood by
when the witches appeared.
You heard my cries
when I was torn down inside.
yet I didn’t see You.
yet I didn’t hear You.
I read Your word.
I said my prayers.
But You didn’t draw close.
I wasn’t walking by the Spirit.
Half of my flesh I kept to myself.
How could I see You
with half-glazed eyes?
I grew little by little,
but, oh how weak,
my roots were sown into You.
Drifting, drifting in sand…
My foundation… was mine, not Yours.
A half-broken rock, the other of sand.
I heard, yet couldn’t.
With closed off ears.
The years that were wasted.
Torn between two masters.
I thought I knew sanctification,
but knowledge is half of it.
Then I longed to retreat
back to my youthful days.
Restore me, O God,
and show me Your ways.
Oh, how little I knew.
For even in my youth,
sin was reigning mightily,
choking my roots.
You have another way.
That was the first lesson I received.
That way is of the Spirit,
that’s how we see and believe.
For we hope for what we don’t have.
We see what is pure and eternal.
Yes, it’s not in front of our eyes,
but our sight is internal.
The renewing of the mind,
which comes from the washing of sins.
Water of blood wine,
one sip, and we never thirst again.
O, Jesus! Lord, why did I place You so low?
I thought to only pray to God,
not realizing fully,
the Father and Son are!
YOU ARE THE I AM!
YOU ARE THE WAY, THE TRUTH, AND THE LIFE!
So weak was my understanding!
So prideful was my heart!
I couldn’t give up sin
because I wasn’t walking with You from the start!
Your presence in prayer.
Your presence in Your word.
I didn’t need signs, emotions, or symbols.
You, You alone, just You.
I began to seek with a desire,
deeper than before.
A thirst for righteousness was planted
one like never before.
When my world shattered again,
You were there.
And I saw You!
And I heard You!
Your words lifted from the page
and spoke into my heart.
I felt strength, not my own.
It was then I realized that You are home!
When the witches entered
and my mind began to terrify.
I saw a lion rush in front roaring,
and it calmed my mind’s eye.
When the whispers entered
and echoed in my ear.
Your Spirit pointed to righteousness,
and testified HE is near!
How utterly wretched am I!
My best is filthy rags!
Yet, I see the blood dripping on that cross
and an open tomb accounted for my loss!
I am justified!
I am cleansed!
I am being sanctified!
THROUGH YOU UNTIL THE END!
My glory is Yours!
It testifies of Your redemption!
I am understanding
the “foolishness” of Your wisdom!
Oh, how little I once knew.
How much wood and hay I laid
upon the foundation before You.
A fire to consume of all days.
Yet now, a precious gem
has been given to me.
I can place it before You,
and it will stand the fire of eternity.
Scripture References In Order Of Appearance:
- God heard the cry of Israel – Psalm 106:43-44
- Eyes that do not see & ears that do not hear – Jeremiah 5:21
- Not everyone who calls Lord, Lord knows Him– Matthew 7:21
- We are to live according to the Spirit– Romans 8:04
- Lack of roots causes an easy falling away- Matthew 13:21
- Foundation of sand – Matthew 7:26
- No one can serve two masters – Matthew 6:24
- We are not to please the world– Galatians 1:10
- God’s will is that we are sanctified– 1 Thessalonians 4:03
- Being truly set free from sin leads to holiness– Romans 6:22
- Greeks seek wisdom– 1 Corinthians 1:22
- Teach me the ways of God – Psalm 86:11
- Seed choked by worries of life – Matthew 13:22
- We serve in the way of the Spirit – Romans 7:06
- We hope for what we do not have– Romans 8:25
- We fix our eyes on what is unseen– 2 Corinthians 4:18
- Hate what is evil (sin)– Romans 12:09
- Focus on what is good and pure– Philippians 4:08
- Be transformed in renewing of your mind – Romans 12:02
- Be new in attitude and mind- Ephesians 4:23-24
- The wine is Christ’s blood- Luke 22:20
- Never thirst again –John 4:14
- Jesus is God– John 17:11
- Jesus Is God (I Am) John 8:58
- Jesus is God– John 1:01
- Jesus is way, truth, and the life – John 14:06
- Pride goes before destruction- Proverbs 16:18
- Generation that sought a sign– Mark 8:12
- When we struggle we put our hope in God– Psalm 42:05
- Blessed are those who thirst for righteousness– Matthew 5:06
- Thirst for God– Psalm 42:02
- Word of God sanctifies – John 17:17
- God’s waters roar– Psalm 42:07
- The voice of Christ is like many waters – Revelation 1:15
- We are given a sound mind through Christ– 2 Timothy 1:07
- Holy Spirit testifies of Jesus – John 15:26
- Wretched sinner – Romans 7:23-24
- Our righteous acts are like filthy rags – Isaiah 64:06
- Jesus’ blood and death on cross – Isaiah 53:05
- Resurrection of Christ is our justification – Romans 4:25
- Christ is continuing His work in us – Philippians 1:06
- Our glory – Romans 8:18
- Our glory tells the world of Jesus– John 17:22-23
- Foolishness of God – 1 Corinthians 1:24-25
- Building upon the foundation of Christ with wood or precious stones to be tested with fire – 1 Corinthians 3:12-14
- Our God is a consuming fire – Deuteronomy 4:24
Monthly Scripture – (NKJ) Psalm 85:05-06, “Will You be angry with us forever? Will You prolong Your anger to all generations? Will You not revive us again, that Your people may rejoice in You?”
Second Blog: Peeking Beneath