A few of you over the years have asked about my husband and did he ever get the internship? There is a lot I am going to share, but for those who have sincerely asked, here is the full answer and my honest thoughts.
It was a prayer request I began to ask for since the beginning of 2018. To be honest, it’s been a rough couple of years spiritually. Waiting for answers can be difficult. Knowing prayers may not be answered is hard. Yet, God will always use these trials for our good.
(NIV) Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
I’m sure many of you know the struggle of desiring God to answer on our time, not His. Truth is life is about what the Lord wants, not what we want. During this process, I have had people make declarations making it sound like we were going to get instant answers, and this was not the case. I’ve had people judge me as a house wife and tell me what they believed (not what my husband believed) on what I should do.
There have been times of fear, doubt, and condemnation within myself. It’s easy to become legalistic and controlling. If I do this, then this will happen. (This is also the law of attraction, which I talked about in this post | Visionaries & Vision Boards: Warning To Christians)
Only through Jesus has He sustained me. Only through His word have I been able to work on trusting and standing upon His words.
This past year I have changed quite a bit on things I used to believe in. A big one was shared on this blog | Why I Took Down My Dream Posts & Series | Recant. I have been challenged more than ever in the word of God. I see how utterly wretched we are without Christ. When I look back on many things I used to believe in, I see how those beliefs were hindering me from digging deeper into the truth of the word of God.
Why am I sharing this on a post about an answered prayer?
There has been a more desperate prayer I’ve had for over a decade that got answered this year before my husband got an internship. I have seen James 1 in action. Ask God for wisdom and He will give it. I have fought against doubt in the only way I can and the only way you can, by going to our Savior and asking for His help.
I asked God about things I would like to happen. Not health. Not money. Not power. I wanted someone to listen to a sermon with me. I desired to watch and learn about Christian topics with this person. I’d love to be able to pray with this person. Could we even read the Bible together? Would this person listen more to Christian music at some point?
January 2020 was when I started asking the Lord about this individual and asking Him to help me not rely on my own strength, but to rely on Him and His truth. At the time, I struggled believing God would answer and feared the prayers were futile. I relied on my own experience. This couldn’t possibly happen. Then I had to realize and seek forgiveness that I was trusting my own ability and what I saw. Not Jesus who makes what seems impossible happen. Again, the “impossible” for these prayers was that someone would come to Christ. It wasn’t money, health, power, or any other form of prosperity.
Sadly, we have to realize we cannot convert someone. Jesus does this. Jesus opens their eyes. Christ can use us but it is Christ who reaches others through us.
Even though we do not have this kind of control to begin with, it’s scary and emotional to hand over our weak sense of control to Him. But I promise you those prayers are placed in the best hands possible. I realized my own need to dig deeper with Jesus in His word. To seek other godly counsel and instruction. My own mindset was challenged… and the person I was praying for was watching these changes take place and he saw what God was doing within my life.
God used what He was challenging me with to minister and challenge him as well.
I was able to listen to a sermon with him. I was able to listen to multiple sermons, actually. We watched more godly men and women discuss issues for Christians. Then one night my husband shared he wanted to get closer to God and from that night on things really started to change. There were discussions about sin, forgiveness, and repentance, but that is my husband’s story to tell, not mine. I do not want anyone concerned wondering if tbese topics were not discussed. 😊 I have seen the Lord minister through His word to my husband.
We listened to more Christian music. We began to discuss more Christian topics. We started to read Christian books and the Bible together.
Timely enough, within a week of my husband confessing his desire to seek Christ more, we received an eviction notice from the apartment complex. If you are a long time reader, then you will have known this is not our first time with an eviction notice. First time, when my husband was in Korea, I went through a panic finding an eviction notice on our door, all to find out it was a mistake. The second time, late payment, different home, got it taken care of, no big deal. The third time, this apartment, in 2017, and it was a mistake by the complex. Wrong number. The fourth time, in July 2020, we received the notice on a Saturday when we could not even contact anyone. The paper was even dated back to earlier in the week, but we did not receive it until the weekend. In fact, we were not able to get ahold of anyone until Monday morning.
Honestly, it was terrifying. It was so hard to find peace, and therefore, a lot of the weekend I spent in worship, prayer, and reading scripture. My stomach was in knots. The anxiety was so heavy. Yet, I knew this was the time to go to Christ and trust Him no matter what. He is always good, no matter what happens.
The paper claimed we did not pay our rent, which was not true, and praise the Lord, our banking shows pictures of the checks we mail, so we could prove the apartment complex did, in fact, receive our check. But that was not the only issue.
However, before getting to that point, I remember my husband asking me if I wanted to pray about the situation, and I asked him to because I was a mess. His prayer was very sincere and asked the Lord if we were guilty of anything to help us do what we needed to do. Even though I had bad anxiety, both nights I was able to get rest, and I am thankful for that. Despite the nerves, I felt a closeness to my King through His word.
Monday we called the office, and we were able to get inside to speak to the ladies in the office. Apparently, when our water bill got changed in April there was a misunderstanding. We did receive a notice for the change, but when I called and asked about it (the numbers seemed odd to me in April because previously we were not updated of an earlier change to our water bill) the lady gave me the wrong number. The office seemed cold on the subject and that was a little hard to take. There were no apologies for being told the wrong numbers and not being alerted for knowing certain changes. We were mainly told they only had a few workers for so many hundred apartments.
While it is not our fault, sadly this is the issue for the workers. I admit, the few days following, I had to pray a lot over my heart and sense of pride. I want to care for the workers because they were made in the image of God and seeds of bitterness help no one. I can write about the situation now because people make mistakes, and it’s not my job to get apologies out of people. It’s my job to love them in a way Christ would, and be forgiving. I want them to see Jesus.
We did have our evidence ready for showing the rent was paid. Calls were made and they let us know what steps to take for photo evidence. We waited about a week and finally my husband called again, because we were supposed to be called soon after and weren’t. The answer my husband received was everything was okay. We did not owe anything.
We were expecting anywhere from 70 dollars to 300 dollars being owed. It was a relief to know in God’s kindness, even though we were not aware of a mistake, it was being taken care of. I actually had been paying more previously so we did have some funds raised up, just in case, and it appeared that was not even needed. I went from expecting we were innocent, to realizing we owed money, to then being told we did not owe anything.
Who was consistent in this madness? God was. He always is. Whether we owed money or didn’t, He was always there and He is always good.
Due to COVID-19, the school had set up a class for my husband to take, which would fulfill the requirements for the internship. So, by August, the requirement was fulfilled, we just did not have extra money coming in had he of gotten the co-op. Even though my husband had been trying since 2018 to get an internship, God had always provided funds for us.
- Fall 2017, my husband worked for a couple of months at a job. It was very physical on him and it exhausted him with work and school. But it was a blessing.
- Summer 2018, my husband had another job that also was physical labor, and the work environment was not uplifting. It was hard because he also took summer classes. But it was a blessing.
- Summer 2019, he took summer classes.
- The GI bill always was enough and a little more. The other jobs were helpful, especially when paying off certain bills between 2017-2018. By the summer of 2018, most of our bigger bills were fully paid off.
- Then… 2020.
In the spring of 2020, my husband tried sending resumes for a few opportunities, and one of them seemed very promising. In fact, they let him know he was their top choice, which was so encouraging. Sadly, COVID-19 happened, and they wanted him to work in person so he could get experience, which was wonderful of them that they wanted him to get hands on experience. But because of COVID-19, they could not take him on. They let him know maybe later if he had not found another job, maybe they could take him on then.
Fall 2020 and the company hired him for an internship. So, the requirement wasn’t needed anymore, but this helps him get experience. We are hoping he will be hired on after he graduates. Please pray for the Lord’s guidance. The work environment is positive and not as physical, as the previous two jobs were. He does not come home exhausted and in pain like he did before. He is able to manage both this job and schoolwork.
Part of me feels like, God wanted my husband to put his trust in Him first. Our own sense of security is so weak anyways. I’ve seen supernatural changes happen in my husband that remind me of Pilgrim’s Progress. The power of Jesus’ words have ministered to him when every time we have attempted to find a church God shut the door, and protected us. At least three churches we were considering to go to, one moved without notice, one the pastor was convicted of abuse, and another God exposed for embracing sin. Before we even stepped into the church, God protected us from false teaching and potential heartache.
God has always been the head of the household, and He took care of my husband in ways I cannot. I am so grateful for the Father’s patience, mercy, grace, and kindness.
Thank you all for your prayers and continued prayers. My husband will be graduating soon from college, so prayers are appreciated.
I know this update has been a while in coming, but I wanted to make sure I could cover everything. 🙂
Monthly Scripture To Ponder/Memorize From Psalm 85 – (NKJ) Psalm 85:12, “Yes, the LORD will give what is good; And our land will yield its increase.“
Community Prayer – November ‘ 20