My Life

Season Of Trial In My Life

My husband was getting out of the military and we were in a different state, at the time, we had to figure out where to go from there.

So many factors went against us relating to time. We didn’t get paperwork back from a leader until the very last minute. We had to sign papers about when we would leave our townhouse, not knowing if the movers would arrive in time. 

I wrote about the experiences on this blog because I wanted to see mountains be moved. For those who have read the experiences, it was rocky and it was a trial. But I could always trust God was with me, I, at least, had that.

I just didn’t know what He would do or how He would pull through.

(NIV) 1 Corinthians 1:09, “God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.”

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Within a week of signing papers and not knowing what would happen, we received two calls within a span of five minutes one bright sunny morning.

My husband was accepted into college.

The movers could make it on time before we needed to leave. 

That was the first hurdle. However, the next hurdle would be harder than I would imagine.

Just yesterday as I was cleaning, I fished out a wad of paper from an old laptop case. Upon straightening it out, a list looked back at me. All the names of the various apartment places we looked at in 2017. The number of times either the rent was too high or nothing would be available until later. 

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Immediately, I recalled the desperation I felt. The fear and the worry. We had looked at about 20 different places, and all denied us. It was draining. I knew and believed God would provide, but just knowing “when” was tough.

But He did, again.

However, my flesh was taking over my weakness. From June to August, those months were draining and filled with fear. In the back of mind, I awaited the question of, “What next?” Which is a very dangerous place to be. 

There was a numbness that overwhelmed me. I also had a lingering dread and worry knowing that with the number of bills we had, at some point, we would have more bills than the money we had in the bank.

I let my dread take over the months when we were provided for when there were NO problems.

2018 came and there were some months that were very tight.

People gave opinions and thoughts. Wondering why I wasn’t getting a job and “contributing”. I even had a blogger, who does not know me that well, reach out and “suggest” the same things.

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I felt my spirit be torn apart. I was completely weak and uncertain. Last year, I started to question so much about my calling as a writer. God brought me to the point, I had to be okay that my writing MAY NOT MAKE MONEY! I had to give that to God because at the end of the day, money is not everything. God is. If I am faithful to Him, He says He will provide. (Phillippians 4:19)

Do you know how hard it is to walk in uncertainty against the world telling you how wrong you are? Feeling like I have to fill everyone else’s expectations of me except my own King and husband?

Here is what I can tell you. Not once in 2018 did my husband and I ever fight about money or jobs. NOT ONCE! Looking back now, that was God.

My husband supported me staying home because it was a comfort to him. Submitting to my husband is part of what it means to obey God. I’m grateful to be a housewife. God showed me, that though I was not making money, I have a ministry as a blogger, and that’s important to Him.

I give God glory by obeying Him and trusting Him, even when people judge me and tell me what I “should” do.  

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God showed me my contributions and faithfulness was so much more than dollar signs. If people can’t see that, it’s not my burden to bear. God has helped me let go of so much.

Even though the months were tough, we did get by. God provided. Maybe not to the point I would fleshly desire, but He provided, again, nonetheless. In our toughest month, last year, I heard the song Do It Again by Elevation Worship, and I just felt God speak to me. The times He’s moved the mountains and knowing He will do it again. 

So why am I sharing this? 

I didn’t mean to bring up all of these personal journeys, but the truth is, I am going through a similar season. We are not there, quite yet. But my husband graduates in 2020, in December. We still have not had a co-op or a company that he can work for. But God will provide as He always has. I must await His hand. 

Yet again, I have some moments of the dread and the worry. The fear of how numbing new situations can be, and how fear can attack when we are drained. However, I am also encouraged I have a little over a year to prepare daily in prayer.

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This isn’t against wives who work outside of the home, far from it. I’ve had people become angry and defensive about why they work. I’m not casting stones, just sharing where I am and what I experienced. 

Answered prayers are powerful. They are stepping stones we need to lean back on when the path ahead is unclear because we know THEY ARE STEADY. They are all glorious actions of God’s hand at work. Trust what He has done and trust what He will do.

Having some worry, fear, dread, etc, it is normal because of our flesh. But what God is teaching me is that His peace overwhelms it and can take it away. 

God is stronger.

It’s as simple as that. 

Comment Below:
Have you had people question you for obeying God?

Monthly Scripture – (NIV) Colossians 1:11, “being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience.”

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25 thoughts on “Season Of Trial In My Life

  1. Thank you for sharing this with us dear one. I can relate so much to what you’ve faced. When my husband lost his job in 2012 and I had four little ones, so many suggested I get a money job. I felt very much that sting of judgement and it was doubly hard going through job loss AND others giving me guilt. But, I like you, submit to my husband who wants me home and homeschooling my kids. We both agree it’s God’s true job for me. I did crochet items for sale but it was within my home and I only brought in a small amount but still enjoyed it. Now (currently) my husband just lost his job again and we are without medical insurance but God is providing and holding us always. We will make it my friend because God is our help and strength. Much Love! 💖🤗

    Liked by 4 people

    1. ❤ ❤ ❤ Our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Amen, Viv!!!! I think people are trying to be helpful, or at least most of the time with the suggestions. But it is hard when everyone around you wants you to do one thing, while God has shown you something differently. One of the first lessons I ever received was, "I will always provide another way."

      Thanks for sharing!!!

      Would you like me to add your husband to the community prayer?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I too have experienced similar. Just last July, my husband lost his job and we ended up being behind in our rent about 4 months. We didn’t know how we were going to make it, I only had a little part time job at the time. Nonetheless, my trust and faith in God was tested. I knew I didn’t have time to focus on worry or fear so I remained in prayer. Facing eviction, things were heading for the worse quickly and we couldn’t find a place that we could afford, let alone enough money to move. But God always comes through! Literally at the courthouse where we had to show up for our landlords eviction, the Lord moved and changed and moved his heart and he decided to listen to our story. From there he was understanding and willing to work with us. Even till today, my husband doesn’t make as much as he did at his old job and we struggle to pay all of our bills. I am currently not working because God removed me from the job that I was at to remain trusting in Him (something I struggle with). However I am in school and I too graduate next year (August 2020). Life remains a struggle right now but God always comes through! His peace truly does surpass all understanding, when the world looks at us like…..”you should be doing this”, we look at God and remain focused and trusting in Him! All for His glory and honor! Life is to be lived through with God, involving Him in every crevice of our life. He is the one who sustains us in all things! Thanks for sharing! 💝

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Amen, amen, amen! Our Lord moves! He is always the same. The Lord who moved mountains before is the One who can move mountains now!!! ❤

      Wow, He is amazing at providing and I'm so glad He did at the courthouse!!

      Would you like anything to be added to the community prayer:)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have had people question me many times because I follow God. Someone was completely dumbfounded that I “believed Jesus was the son of God.”

    I shared that I am considering homeschooling my child so that I can teach them what to believe instead of allowing the world to teach them what to believe, someone told me my children would be weird and unsocial.

    I work part time so that I can have children, there are many doctors appointments due to infertility, and many people have attacked me calling me lazy and looking down on me for not “contributing”… so many other times but I am sure I do not need to say them all haha

    Liked by 4 people

    1. That’s a real shame, people just do not understand.

      Timely enough my husband brought up the point of thinking homeschool kids are antisocial and I told him about programs in which homeschool kids meet other homeschool kids. There are tons of ways for kids to become part of the community and also socialize there. If the only way kids are socializing is at school, I don’t think that’s the best way either, truthfully. They need to step out and try things.

      Sometimes misconceptions hinder a lot of things, and people, but with gentleness hopefully we can explain the misconceptions away gracefully:)

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Yes, I agree, gentleness is the best way. Also, I love the idea of having my children socialize in other ways than just school. I have dreamed of them joining groups at the library, having regular homeschool meetup days, church programs, and even field trips to places they learn about! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. People will always have advice on their perception of what’s best for other family. As I remind our girls, people always, always will have something to say, take everything with a grain of salt and ensure everything aligns with the Word of God. God and your husband are truly all the matters, you are a testimony when you put them first and second. God bless you, my friend

    Liked by 2 people

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